"I feel I just fell in love with you like a song on the radio
Ooh baby, I, I don't
I don't want that same cold loving that I had before
Are you different?
You taste different, you feel different
It seems different, I think I'm in love" -Emanuel
I got up running to my bathroom throwing up my guts for the fifth time this week and it was only Wednesday morning...great.
When my insides had been emptied I stood from my hunched over position standing flushing the toilet before brushing my teeth deciding to get my day started.
I've been throwing up for weeks...what if-no it's not possible...but it is incredibly possible seeing as though it had happen and I don't recall that happening and-"oh for heavens sack." I mumbled cutting my own thoughts off walking out of my bathroom into my closet.
I through on a black sweater seeing as I had slept in black sweat pants and a black tube top. I slid on some grey and black socks and some Nike slides.
I grabbed my door keys, phone, and wallet quickly leaving making sure to lock my front door. I walked out of my complex using the key card to exit the heavily guarded apartments.
I walked down the sidewalk deciding to put my AirPods in and think while I walk.
Holloway~Bloom
What if I am will I be able to do this alone...
Of course I can I've survived much worse-but I wouldn't know the first thing about doing that I wasn't even raised near anything caring or loving.
I'll figure this out and in the mean time if I am I'll think about telling him...what if he doesn't want anything to do with it-I don't need him I've survived much worse and will continue to survive.
...
They can't know...
I walked into the store immediately going to the isle already knowing what I came here for. I grabbed three of the boxes walking towards the register paying before heading back to my home.
Once I was inside I locked my front door throwing my sweater into the dirty clothes hamper I walked into my bathroom. Anxiously opening each and every one of them peeing before letting the absorb the liquid.
I turned my shower on deciding to go out today instead of staying cooped up inside plus it's sunny today. I stripped from my clothing grabbing them from the floor putting them in the dirty clothes hamper before stepping into the shower.
After showering I did my hygiene routine then slid on my black silk robe walking into my closet. I didn't want to wear anything special so I settled for a yellow dress, yellow and clear Sandals, and gold jewelry.
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(NOT HER JUST THE DRESS)
I put on some roll on perfume then headed to my storage closet grabbing my picnic basket and blanket with a couple of pillows. I walked to my fridge packing the basket before walking into my bathroom grabbing the test quickly flipping them over so I couldn't see the results.
