stevebucky - hiraeth

14. Return of a Friend

It had been four months. Barnes had been invited to Wakanda a few days after Steve rejected him, and he wanted to try to heal.

And Steve was...getting better. He was able to be around the other Avengers again, and go all over the compound. He wasn't as angry, or as unhinged, but he still was off, somehow. 

It was like talking to a washed out photograph of Steve. He had lost a part of him to the chip.

"Morning, cap," Clint said as Steve went into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Clint," Steve said, trying to smile, but his expression was glazed. 

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked, always considerate.

"I'm fine." Steve tried even harder to smile, and failed even harder.

"He's not fine," Nat said abruptly. "He's still mentally damaged and pining for Bucky."

Steve left the room without warning and without another word.

Sam glared at Natasha. "Nat. Seriously?"

"Someone had to say it. Steve either looks like he's going to burst into tears or become a genocidal psychopath at all times. He misses him and refuses to admit it."

"I mean, they had that crazy argument."

They had monitored Steve on the cameras while Barnes talked to him, and witnessed every word the two of them had said. 

And they had witnessed Steve crying on the floor for ten hours. And the next two weeks when he wasn't eating.

He was far from okay, and everyone knew it. It had been months, and he was better, but he wasn't right.

Vision found him standing at the edge of the field behind the compound. 

"Are you all right, Captain?" Vision asked.

"I'm fine."

There were tears running down his face.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine!" Steve snarled, glaring at Vision. "Everyone asks me that all the time, and I'm FINE! Okay? There's nothing wrong with me."

"You went through a very intense week, captain. It's understandable and completely reasonable that it gave you lasting trauma."

"I'M FINE!!"

Vision reached out for him and Steve tried to punch him in the face, but his fist just passed through his head.

"Violence is not the answer here. You need to talk to someone."

"Please leave, Vision," Steve pleaded. "I really don't want to talk to anyone right now."

Vision stared at him for a few more seconds, then turned and flew away.

                                                                              -

Every day, Steve seemed a little emptier. Tony and Rhodes finally managed to talk the government into significantly loosening the Sokovia Accords, and they could go on missions again.

Steve was only going through the motions now, unable to smile,  unable to laugh. He did everything people asked but talk about his own feelings.

But everything changed by the sixth month.

Steve was jogging around the compound and happened to be in the back field again when the ship came down- bright, aggressive, and very yellow. 

Steve ran towards it, knowing it had to be a threat. The bay doors opened, and out walked-

Steve brightened, a gigantic smile overtaking his face, his entire posture brightening. "THOR!" He yelled happily, running even faster.

"STEVE!" Thor roared, and the two hugged tightly. 

For maybe a few seconds too long.

"You didn't tell me you had a special friend, your majesty," said an armor-clad woman behind them, eyebrows raised.

Thor let go and patted Steve on the back. "Valkyrie, this is Captain America."

"That's the dumbest name I've ever heard," Valkyrie scoffed.

"Steve Rogers, actually," Steve said, regarding her, "I don't go by Captain America anymore."

"About that- what did I miss, anyway?" Thor asked, his hands on Steve's shoulders. By then, the other Avengers had started to get closer to the ship.

"Well, the Avengers broke up for a while. Then I got captured and probably got some significant brain damage. We've just been hanging out here for a couple months."

"Well, I have gone on many..great adventures while I've been gone. For one, I found Dr. Banner."

Bruce stepped out behind him, and Steve and the others gave him a hug as well.

"I've had to kill my sister, my hammer was obliterated and my planet has been destroyed in the past week, so I'd like to have a party, how about you?" Thor said.

"That sounds great," Steve beamed. Thor's hands were still on Steve's shoulders. Nat and Sam shared a look. 

"Wonderful. I will begin preparations with Stark." Thor finally let go of Steve and headed to the compound.

 On his way back, Nat grabbed Thor by the arm.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked, eyes narrowed.

"Of course, Natasha," Thor smiled. 

"Great." She led him into a side room and sat him down at one side of a table. She closed the door and sat on the other.

"What is it?"

"Steve has gone through some really horrible things, and he's been depressed for a few months. He also is lying to himself about a guy he loves," she leaned forward, "So why are you leading him on?"

"Excuse me?"

"Steve obviously has some schoolgirl crush on you. But he also is suppressing some intense love for his raccoon assassin sad boy Bucky Barnes."

"I think he told me about him once. Well, he talked for two hours, but-"

"Exactly. So don't lead him on, okay?"

"Is Barnes here?" Thor raised his eyebrows.

"Well, no. But Thor-"

"Maybe I like him too. Huh?"

Nat groaned. "Thor, at least don't let him make you his rebound."

"I might not care about that. Also, has he ever actually dated anyone?"

"I mean-"

"Sounds great." Thor got up, smacked the table, and left, yelling, "STARK!"

Nat groaned so hard her head fell backwards.