And then we were two (Tony stark's daughter fic)

Secrets and fears

"Should probably get her home," Natasha whispered. "I need to check up on my shadow anyway."

Bucky merely raised a questioning brow as he took another bite. "Is this thing really appropriate for a kid?"

It was Natasha's turn to raise a brow then. Addy had fallen asleep by the time the first episode was half over and now lay half in his lap, dark curls falling into her face. He reached down and gently brushed her hair from her forehead. "Do you know...?"

Nat sighed. "Yes," she nodded simply. "I was with Steve when we found out. Pretty sure he hasn't told anyone else..."

Bucky hummed and set his food aside, the carton just past his blankets on the dusty wooden floorboards. They were worn, faded, nothing like the richly stained and polished floors that graced the hideaway penthouse the avengers were staying in currently. Bucky traced a groove with a metal finger, inwardly wondering what might've caused it. "Can't imagine he'd want you bringing her around..."

Natasha shrugged, stubborn and quietly defiant. "Addy has a mind of her own. She seems to like you," she murmured as if it were as simple as that. "You could come back with us...?"

He shook his head and leaned back against the wall behind him. "I'll walk you both back," he decided and carefully lifted Addy. That, at least, he could manage. Carrying a kid was like muscle memory. She fell into place against his chest with a small, sleepy, noise, her little hand curling in his dark shirt. Bucky stared down at her bemusedly and headed for the door.

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Tony scowled petulantly as Steve finished checking and rewrapping his ankle once more. They'd been walked, or rather, Steve had been walking, until dark every day since their fateful river crossing. During that time Tony had seemed to regress. He'd barely said more than, no, in three days.

It wasn't even that he couldn't. His mind felt less clouded by the day, thoughts and worries slowly returning to him. If anything, that was the problem. He'd started feeling more himself sometime around the time he was holding back shivers, water dripping from sodden curls down his face. The only part of him that felt warm was the point of contact where Steve had been clutching his ankle anxiously.

That was three days prior now and every night Steve lay him carefully on the ground, murmuring apologies, and bent to check his ankle. "You know, Buck would be better at this," he whispered.

Tony didn't respond. He couldn't get past his freakout. The more his mind cleared the worse it became until all he could think was, He's going to kick you off the team! You'll be all alone again! You showed him too Damn much!

First it was just the general neurosis, the way his heart thudded when someone tried to hand him something, the way his vision blurred when he woke up in the night and didn't immediately see a steady blue glow.

Hell, by that note, could he even be with Steve? Ignoring the fact that Steve could do better, easily. Steve could pull women, or men, anyone really, with a single aww shucks grin. Tony remembered the way he'd sent Pepper flying out of bed when she'd pressed a hand over the arc reactor while trying to wake him from a nightmare. She'd declared she couldn't deal with it, that he needed to talk to someone, as she snatched up her things and slipped out. Tony hadn't chased her. He told himself it was for Addy, that he didn't want her waking to a fight, but it was more that he'd been waiting for it.

It had only been a matter of time before Pepper realized he was as much of a walking disaster as the press implied. If Pepper couldn't take it, no one could. Still, in some ways, he needed her more the way she was than he needed her in his bed. Pepper was an anchor, someone he knew he could call at three in the morning because he woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for air, and she would talk him round, count things around him. She knew his room just as well as he did, hell she'd chosen half of it.

Pepper was his rock, one of three friends that hadn't betrayed him, hadn't given up on him; even when they probably should've. Tony wondered if they knew what they meant to him, if he'd ever made that clear?

"You'd have liked him," Steve was saying and Tony frowned, drawn back into the present from his musings.

Dark brown eyes met crystalline blue and Tony tilted his head in question as the wind blew his hair this way and that.

"Bucky," Steve clarified at just a look. "Hell, Tony...I wish...I don't wish I'd been there, actually..." watching Tony grow from an infant to a clever little boy, to a teenager with too many hurts and too many thoughts flying around that brilliant mind of his, it was too...odd, given how Steve was beginning to...well, not beginning to feel, these emotions weren't as new as he pretended, but perhaps beginning to notice at least. "I wish you'd trust me with things..." he whispered instead. "I wish I knew why I have to set your dinner down before you'll touch it, even like this, when you seem like you're functioning on instinct...I wish that...That I understood. I know you were scared at the river...but I don't really understand...can you not swim?"

"Water..." Tony replied thickly. He didn't care to elaborate, though he was fairly certain he could've.

Steve nodded slowly. "You're...afraid...of the water..?" He clarified carefully.

Tony gritted his teeth and nodded sharply. There wasn't a single part of him that wanted to admit to it but, it was the truth. Tony kept a pile of dry washcloths beside his shower, ready and waiting to dry himself should he accidentally get a face full of water. He didn't go swimming, he showered like it was about to bite him, hell, his AI warned him and locked his workspace when Addy discovered water guns.

Steve didn't look like he was judging him. If anything he looked worried and...guilty. "I'm sorry I didn't think about why you were having a hard time with crossing, Tony..." he whispered. "You know...I know it's only one word...but I feel like it's the most you've ever shared with me...I, it's hard...knowing what I can say, what I can't..."

Tony studied him. "Bucky?" He prompted, because Steve seemed to have something to say and Tony knew intrinsically that he'd have a better chance telling unresponsive Tony.

Steve added another log to their fire and poked at the coals, scrubbing at his face in obvious agitation. "He was my best friend..." he whispered. "Sargent James Buchanan Barnes...always called him Bucky. He loved it. Like Buck Rogers on the radio.." Steve grinned, reminiscing.

Tony had no idea what the hell a Buck Rogers was but suddenly wanted desperately to find out.

Steve let out another heavy breath and turned to study Tony. His eyes were hesitant, guilty, to the point where Tony wanted to either assure him he didn't have to tell him or run from the inevitable betrayal he saw there. "Tony...I know you hate it when I mention your dad..."

"Howard," Tony corrected stubbornly through clenched teeth.

"Howard," Steve conceded. "But...theres something you need to know...seems like...maybe if I practice saying it now I'll have half a chance at getting it out when you can tell me I'm an asshole...."

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Dun dun duuuuuuun 😂 I'm sorry but I have no bigger pet peeve on shows than the old "let's not tell them this thing and ruin the whole damn relationship because of it" 🙄🙄🙄 so stupid! 😂 anywhooo bout time Steve Man's up on that. There will be no civil war on my watch young man! 😂

anywhooo hope you're enjoying. I love comments so if you are so inclined...yeah that's it. That's all I've got to say lol. Goodnight for me. Good morning or good day as is appropriate for whatever timezone you're in personally. ✌🏼😘