𝐼𝓃𝒻𝒶𝓉𝓊𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹

Chapter 35- A New, Unexpected Friend

By this picture you can get an idea of where Cris stays for half an hour after the ending of school hours. She's supposed to be standing against the red building's back wall, in front of the glass building, by the staircase.

Image courtesy: Google.

-Sherynnn1000

Simone's P.O.V.

One of the worst things about deciding to follow a certain plan is that you may find it hard to truly follow it later, and one obstacle is all it takes to destroy your entire fucking plan.

For example: Me telling myself not to get triggered by Ellis, me deciding on explaining shit to Amber about Chase,  me promising myself that I'd never let my destructive self from the past resurface again.

The first one? Well, I completely shit on that plan following that little comment of hers which stated that I was 'nothing but a piece of ass for Chase'. Later, as I'd been walking to my different classes after the previous ones had finished, each time, I had reflected on the moment.
Why did I get so triggered when Ellis said that?

I didn't know the answer. Neither did I want to find it out, at least not now.
I felt as if some fact that I'd pushed far into the back of my thoughts would surface if I told myself the answer truthfully, and I'd be surprised by it. Or shocked.
I honestly didn't want that. I didn't want to add to an already tense situation within myself.
So that was that.

The second one? We-ell, apparently the first plan's failing was the reason of the failing of my second one, so I didn't stress myself further on the second one.

And the third one. The third one. About me not letting my destructive old personality resurface.
Well, it was also due to the failing of my first plan.

But could I let myself get triggered so easily?

No. I couldn't.

Till now, I was thinking that I was a purely placid, level-headed and nonchalant person, maybe even laid back, on things not related to my education and exam scores.

But that little scuffle, or brawl, or whatever, with Ellis in the hallway, had me rethink this fact.

After deep thought, I came to the conclusion that indeed, that 'fact' was quite factual. When you've gone through tough stuff due to even tougher tribulations at an early age, nothing really shocks you or affects you, like the emotional problems that other people normally face.
What others normally face basically becomes quite bland and old for you because you have the experience of handling that and more already.

I understood that the root of my first plan was related to Chase. If I'd never gotten close to Chase, Ellis would've never come after me in the first place.

New problems and pleasures had accompanied him while he had stepped into my life as Crush Suprême.

Was he really affecting me that much?

Yes, he was.
That boy with those lush chocolate locks and eyes that looked like blue zircons and shining sapphire stones at the same time, so deep and beautiful that I could get lost in them and never come back-willingly- was affecting me. Hard.

He was affecting my life, and was capable of influencing my decisions. Something that happened a lot on the events following the after-play party on Friday night.

On realizing how much of an impact this particular person brought into my life, my first instinct was to run.
Run from me and my feelings potentially getting abashed.
Run from the same cycle of relationships.
Run from the exciting prospects.
Run from the fearful prospects.
Run from the person who might just think I am a piece of ass. A good one to befriend too, maybe. But a piece of ass at the end of the day- a little like Ellis.