Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Eren!" Mikasa cheers as she runs into my room with Levi trailing behind her. She engulfs me in a hug and then opens my blinds. "Your room is so dark."
"That's cause the sun is in the room next door." I was referring to Armin but she didn't know that.
"Hey brat." Levi sits in a chair and crosses one leg over the other like always.
"Anything new happen?" Mikasa asks.
"I made a friend, he's in the room next door." Mikasa's eyes gleam and she smiles at me. It's kinda sad that my younger sister is so happy that I made a friend. I'm twenty not two.
"I'm glad you're talking to someone other than Hange and the wall." Levi laughs.
"I don't talk to the wall, I just stare at it." Levi rolls his eyes and half smiles.
We continue to talk about how their lives are going since mine is kind of depressing. Mikasa is a photographer, she takes pictures at weddings, baby showers, birthday parties, etc. Basically any event that normal not dying people get to experience. Levi is a buisness man, I have no idea what that buisness is but it's obviously got him enough money for the nice clothes he wears.
By the time they leave it's around 6pm. The sun is beginning to go down, not that I even saw it for very long. I felt a gentle breeze on my face even though no windows were open. Nowadays I'm always cold, I have a soft red blanket but that doesn't do much. I'm not cold cause the room is cold, I'm cold cause my body seems to just push away heat.
Armin
I'm drained from Chemo but even more from worrying about my friends.
'Damnit Armin why did you think it was a good idea to make friends with a bunch of dying people?'
It was definitely not a logical decision on my part. Is it because my brain is beginning to actually stop working the way I want it to? I'm always the one that makes the right decisions so why the hell did I do this to myself? Seven people, seven friends that I would see in the afterlife. If there even is one.
I kinda hope that I'm the first one to go, then I won't have to deal with the sound of a flatline, or the sounds of my friends crying. I know that sounds horrible, why would I want to put my friends through that pain? I don't, but I also don't want to be the one to deal with it. That's 'cause I'm scared. I've always been scared, I'm just good at hiding it. It's not exactly a talent I'm proud of.
The sun shone into my room like it always did. I'm going to miss the sun when I'm gone. Before my mom passed she said, "You and the sun are similar because you bring light into people's lives. You were my light, now go be that light for someone else. I love you."
I hope I'm a light for someone.
"Armin! I have your night meds!" Hange squeals. They're so happy about everything, it's refreshing. Every other nurse looks at the patients like they're a deadly virus. But Hange is like an older sibling, they are always there. They hand me a paper cup of water and another that has my three pills sitting at the bottom. I swallow them and then finish off the water. Hange takes the cups back and tosses them into the small trashcan under the sink.
"Any updates on them?" I ask.
"Jean isn't allowed out of his room, Marco is with him. Ymir has to be monitored now. And Connie's memories are starting to fade and he's starting to get confused." They sigh and squeeze their hands into fists. I've never seen Hange sad. But now they're looking at their shoes and slightly shaking. "I'm sorry I can't do anything Armin, I really am." I can hear a shake in their voice like tears are just threatening to spill.
I get out of bed slipping on my slides in the process. "I'm sorry you have to watch us fade away." I open my arms and they step into them, I hug them tightly until their breathing calms and they've stopped shaking. "I'm hungry, wanna go to the cafeteria and get pudding? We can see if Eren wants to come too."
"That sounds great I'll go get him!" They run out and swing themselves on the doorframe and into Eren's room.
I put on a hoodie and then turn my light off, the sun still lights up my room though.
Hange is waiting with Eren outside his door. Eren smiles at me as I walk out, his smile doesn't have much energy behind it but I know its genuine.
"To the pudding!" Hange Marches towards the cafeteria with their fist in the air. Eren and I laugh and then follow after them.
-
We're all sitting at a square table near a window where we could see the sunset. The orange, yellow, and pink tones were dancing in the sky. It's been a pretty day today which always made me happy.
Eren's staring off into nothingness which is something I've noticed he does a lot. I wonder if he thinks of anything or if he's just zoning out.
I take this time to examine his face. It's pale and tired looking but still pretty. His hair wasn't tied back like it usually was, he left it down. It's a little past shoulder length, the front strands were shorter though. His hair had a little wave to it, not completely straight but definitely not enough to be considered curly. There was also a notch in it from where his hair tie usually was. His eyes are a nice teal color, they seem empty, like there isn't a single thought behind them.
I wonder if he knows how beautiful he is, I'll have to tell him one day.
I like this, eating pudding with friends, pushing away all our worries. Maybe not the most healthy coping mechanism but it doesn't matter right now.
