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"Code blue! Code blue!" I shoot awake at the yelling from the halls.
"What the hell does code blue mean?"
Please no, not right now. Please don't be someone I know. Please.
"Armin!" Eren runs into my room, he looks like he also just woke from the noise. His hair is an absolute mess and he's not wearing shoes or socks. "You're ok."
"Y-yeah but someone else isn't." I sigh. I feel tears stream down my face without my permission.
"It's from the left side so that's either-"
"Jean, Marco, or Historia." I finish the sentence shakily.
"Maybe it's someone we don't know." He walks over to my bed and sits beside me. I rest my head on his shoulder as tears continue to fall from my already blue eyes. He puts his head on top of mine and takes my hand in his. "It's okay."
No it's not.
"Armin, it's Jean." That's not Eren's voice, it's Historia's. Her face is soaked from tears. She's holding a pencil, it's the pencil that Jean let her borrow a while ago. We would make jokes about how she probably would never give it back and now she probably won't. "They keep shocking his heart but it's not working." She says between silent cries.
"Where's Marco?" Eren asks.
"H-he had to be locked in his room so he didn't get in the doctor's way." She stutters.
Then there it was, the flatline. The ongoing noise rang in my head. Suddenly I saw two bodies run past my room door. Connie and Sasha. Historia clings onto the doorframe and let's her tears create a small puddle on the ground. Ymir comes over and holds Historia tightly as she lets herself break down.
"Damnit!" I hear Hange's voice yell from down the hall. "God Damnit!" Their voice cracks and shakes as they yell.
The tears that are already falling from my eyes fall faster, my hands are shaking and no matter how hard I try I can't get my words out before they're consumed by cries.
Eren's also crying, not nearly as hard but the tears are still very noticeable. He pushes my head into his chest and hugs me tightly, letting me know he's there for me. I cling onto his shirt and let my body relax into him.
My fears are becoming realities and I don't like it.
-
Two days later
We all sit together in the room behind the blue door. Eren joins us again, he sits in the seat next to mine, no one ever sits there so it's Eren's seat now. Everyone is silent, staring at the spot Jean once sat in. He would talk, laugh, yell, and sleep in that spot. Marco is clinging onto Jean's old blanket and Historia has that pencil in her hair in place of a hair stick.
"I never got to tell him." Marco whispers.
"He knew, he felt the same way." I say back. Marco shoves his face down into the blanket letting quiet sobs escape his mouth.
"This sucks ass." Ymir sighs.
Sasha and Connie have been absolutely silent the last two days besides crying and screaming. Sasha curls up on her chair with a teddy bear and a bucket of cheese balls. Connie just sits and stares at the Ceiling. He looks empty.
Everyone does.
I couldn't help but ask myself 'who's next?'
Eren
I've become too attached, to attached to these people. Especially Armin. In two short sad days I've spent 90% of my time with them. This is what I was trying to avoid.
I didn't want to make friends. I didn't want to become attached to someone. I didn't want to talk to 107. I didn't want to go down to the gardens. I wanted to die alone. But now I'm here sitting with my friends, mourning a death in the group.
Hange's not doing so well either. Physically they're there but mentally they're somewhere else. I think this whole situation is finally setting in for them. I miss their energy and their smile.
Why can't the world just stop?
Just for a few minutes.
Armin
Eren's staring off into nothingness again. I grab his hand that's on the arm rest of his chair. He intertwines his fingers with mine although I don't think he notices. This is what we do now I guess. Whenever I felt anxious or he was lost in his thoughts I would hold his hand. A lot of the time his hand was cold and slightly shaky. After a while I feel him lightly squeeze my hand.
