His Leave (z.s.)

March 20 2015 (2)

Fast forward a few hours and they'd finally made it to the venue. Harry had managed to sleep almost the entire rest of the drive, waking up only a few minutes before they'd arrived in the parking lot. 

Louis: "hey haz, sleep okay?"

Harry rubbed his tired eyes, trying his best  to wake himself up, but feeling more energized than before nonetheless. 

Harry: "mhm, thank you"

Louis: "you think you'll be okay to perform tonight then?"

Harry: "yeah Lou, I'll be okay."

Louis: "you uh, you got a text from him once you fell asleep."

Harry: "oh, what'd it say"

Louis: "I'll let you read it and get back to him, it's your business anyway. Love you lad, I'll meet you inside then?"

Harry: "yeah, see you inside."

All three of the other boys had made their way off the bus and into the arena to start getting ready and prepped for their first show without Zayn. Harry had finally picked up his phone to check what Zayn had sent him in the early morning.

He let a tear roll down his cheek as he read the message, melting in the slightest at just how much he still seemed to care. So without hesitation he replied. 

Harry: Hey Z, sorry I hadn't replied sooner. I fell asleep cause I didn't catch much last night. I miss you too, more than I think you know. I've got a big show tonight, the first one without my best friend. Hope you'll be cheering me on from home. Love you always babe.

He shut his phone off and headed off the bus into the arena. When he was walking down the hallway he saw Paul in front of him and sped up to catch up alongside him.

Paul: "hey lad, how are you this morning?"

Harry: "I'm alive, that's what matters"

Harry laughed to make his answer sound more light hearted but, Paul frowned. He knew Harry was struggling.

Paul: "it'll all work out, sometimes the hardest decisions are the smartest decisions. Just think, everything truly happens for a reason Harry."

Harry: "yeah, I've been trying to tell myself that."

Paul: "did you need something?"

Harry: "I uh, I was just wondering if you knew anything about Zayn's break. Like is it a break or is he gone forever?"

Paul: "honestly Harry, I have no idea. The team hasn't heard anything from him about a final statement or where he's at. All I know at this point is that he won't be finishing the tour. That was posted on twitter, along with an apology from Zayn himself. A more proper statement will come out from us, you lads, and him if anything else changes okay?"

Harry just nodded, he really didn't know what to feel exactly. He wanted a definitive answer but, he just couldn't seem to get one, and just as he was about to break down, a call came through. 

-Facetime From ZJM<3-

Harry smiled a bit to himself and slid over to answer the call.

Zayn: "hey love"

Harry: "hey"

Zayn: "what's wrong, you seem like you were crying"

Harry: "I wasn't, I just got done having a chat with Paul."

Zayn: "what about? if you don't mind me asking."

Harry: "I never mind Z"

Zayn: "I know, I just didn't wanna intrude if it was too private"

Harry: "when have I ever hid anything from you?"

Zayn: "you're right, go on"

Harry: "I was just asking if they heard anything from you, and when statements were coming out and shit."

Zayn: "I haven't said much to them cause I really have no fucking idea where I'm at baby"

Harry: "yeah I figured"

Zayn: "you, I promise, will be the first to know. before the team, before Paul, before the boys, you will know babe."

Harry: "mkay"

Zayn: "but I don't want you to put your life on hold for me, don't be sad. This is your thing Harry, get out there and be you. That's what the crowd wants."

Harry: "but it's not what I want."

Zayn: "I understand that. But you can't sit around and be sad all the time just because I'm not there. The first 16 years of your life you were fine without me."

Harry: "yeah but that was before I fell in love with your dumb ass."

Zayn chuckled through the speaker.

Harry: "hey I think Niall's calling for me, I gotta go"

Zayn: "good luck tonight babe, I love you"

Harry: "I love you"

Zayn: "call me when you get situated tonight, I'd love to hear from you."

Harry: "I will."

Zayn blew Harry a kiss through the phone and Harry caught it, hanging up and shoving his phone in his back pocket. He wished that when he walked in the dressing room, Z would be there waiting for him, but he was forever away. Or that's what it felt like at least. 

He went through the motions of soundcheck, getting his hair done, and dressed while trying to keep his mind anywhere but on Zayn, and the idea that he was at home without him. 

While Louis and Niall were in the middle of getting ready, Liam sat next to Harry on the couch that sat against the wall in their dressing room. 

Liam: "hey mate, you holding up okay?" 

Harry: "I guess...I guess I am yeah."

Harry thought about his answer. He didn't necessarily lie, but he was acting so fine because he'd been focusing on anything but what he was missing. 

Liam: "Have you spoken to Zayn today?"

Harry: "I did before soundcheck this morning, I wanna text him but...I don't wanna bother the shit out of him and push him farther away ya know?" 

Liam: "I'm sure there's no way you could push him away Harry, he misses you just as much, I'm almost sure of it." 

Liam put a reassuring arm around Harry and pulled him in for a hug. Harry reluctantly agreed, the only arms he wanted to be wrapped in were Z's, but he was thankful nonetheless. 

Harry: "I guess I'll go call him before we head back." 

Liam: "I'm sure he'll love that...come get me if you need me." 

Harry just smiled back at Liam and made his way out the dressing room door and to the hallway.