His Leave (z.s.)

December 31 2014

It was New Year's Eve and the two boys had been at Harry's house for the past week after spending a lot of their time at Zayn's place after the album release.

They'd been having arguments every few days and getting past them like normal, but something in Harry told him that this wasn't right. Something was off between them.

In the morning when Zayn was still asleep, Harry got up from the opposite side of the bed. Not used to waking up out of his arms he shivered.

Before he could let any tears fall he dropped downstairs to call his mom without waking Zayn.

Anne: "happy New Year's Eve darling"

Harry: "same to you"

Anne: "what's going on?"

Harry: "uh...a lot really. I just miss Zayn."

Anne: "well aren't you two staying together?"

Harry: "uh yeah, yeah he's sleeping right now, but I mean...he just doesn't seem present."

Anne: "maybe he's going through an anxiety patch honey"

Harry: "he's been like this since the album release, and he's really touchy, the smallest thing sets him off. He doesn't even eat anymore."

Anne: "does he tell you he loves you?"

Harry: "if I say it first."

Anne: "baby..."

Harry: "I dunno mum, I'm scared to bring it up to him cause it never gets us anywhere but in another argument."

Anne: "but he needs to know you feel like this"

Harry: "But when I tell him, it makes him feel like he's not good enough"

Anne: "he is good enough, but maybe right now he's not acting as if he is."

Harry: "...this is all just hard"

Anne: "relationships are never meant to be easy love"

Harry: "but it's not even like it's difficult for us to love each other...it's not. It's just the fact that he doesn't show me anymore."

Anne: "how about this...I have...my friend Lotties number. She's a relationship therapist and I'm sure she could talk you through things better than me."

Harry: "uh yeah...sure that sounds good"

Anne: "alright, write this down for me"

Harry scurried to find a piece of paper and a pen.

Anne: "01447-567-234"

Harry: "got it, thanks mum"

Anne: "and don't hesitate to call me if you need something"

Harry: "you're the first one I call"

Anne: "I love you sweet heart"

Harry: "I love you too mum"

After he got off the phone with his mom he left the paper on the counter, retreating back upstairs to shower in the guest bathroom while Zayn was still asleep.

He hopped in, letting the hot water sizzle away all of his overthinking and worrisome issues.

While he was in the shower, Zayn woke up with a stretch, realizing that Harry was already up. He threw on a pair of sweats, leaving his torso bare as he went downstairs to find him.

In the hallway he heard him singing from the guest bathroom shower and furrowed his brows in confusion. Wanting to know why he was using that bathroom instead of his own.

Zayn: "babe?"

Harry: "hmm?"

Zayn: "why're you in the guest loo?"

Harry: "I didn't wanna wake you"

Zayn: "oh alright, I'll be downstairs"

Harry: "mkay, love you"

Zayn: "love you too"

Harry sighed. He didn't wanna wake Zayn cause he hated when he woke up in a bad mood. He didn't want another argument over something stupid. He just wanted more than anything, to feel loved.

After getting out of the shower and drying his hair as best as possible with the towel, he threw some product in it quickly to hold the curl and walked back downstairs.

He found Zayn standing at the island in the middle of the kitchen, staring down at the piece of paper Harry left there unconsciously.

He swore under his breath as he approached, just thinking about all the questions he'd get.

Harry: "good morning"

Zayn: "morning"

Harry: "how'd you sleep?"

He took a second to really look at the paper, not caring what Harry was asking honestly.

Zayn: "who's Lottie?"

Harry: "just a friend of my mums"

Zayn: "okay well,why is her number on your counter?"

Harry: "I haven't spoken to her in awhile and my mum said she'd been asking about me."

Zayn: "don't lie to me Harry"

Harry: "I'm not"

Zayn: "I looked up the number."

Harry: "and?"

He took a sip of the coffee he made, trying to down the lump in his throat.

Zayn: "it's an office number from your hometown"

Harry: "might be her work phone?"

Zayn: "yeah, she's a relationship therapist"

Harry: "really?"

Zayn: "don't act dumb haz, why are you calling her?"

Harry: "I haven't yet actually"

Zayn: "still, why the fuck do you have her number?"

Harry: "because sometimes I need someone to talk to that actually listens to me."

Zayn: "what're you implying?"

Harry: "that I've brought up how I feel to you multiple times, and it's always "I'm sorry baby, let's go have sex and make up"...but it's never fixed. I just feel like you don't even love me anymore!"

That was a punch in the face and a jab to the heart for Zayn. That was a lot to hear.

Before he could stop him, Harry was gone. Back upstairs with a slammed door like always.

Zayn: "running away from me doesn't fix this, we've been over that!"

Harry: "it never gets fixed anyway zayn!"

Zayn punched the wall, leaving a dent that Harry wouldn't notice anyway, but his knuckles bruised almost immediately.

Zayn: "fuck!"

He didn't know what he was doing wrong. He felt like every time Harry brought to his attention that he was feeling off, he tried to fix it but it always came back.

He felt terrible knowing he was causing this, but he was also pissed that he had brought a therapist into it, and tried to lie in order to hide it.

It was supposed to be a good night, and as of now it was all going down hill fast.