The Virgin and the Whore

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"And you're telling us he wasn't even wearing his Ugg boots?" Josh asked, a mix between shocked and offended.

I rolled my eyes at him. I'd been doing a lot of that tonight. "For the hundredth time, they are not Ugg boots."

"You bought cheap knockoffs? I thought you were loaded Nik!" he replied, shocked again.

"THEY ARE NOT UGG BOOTS," I exclaimed, while my friends all laughed at me.

Tyler, Josh, Blake and I were at a little pub hanging out.

Their girlfriends were having their girl's night out, so the boys decided to hang out together too, and they invited sad little single me.

I wondered for a second if I ever had a girlfriend, whether or not she'd get along with my friends.

She'd have to...

This was such a foreign concept to me, though. Never before had I thought about the fact that someone I would like would need to get along with my friends. I never had friends before.

"It's fine, be in denial, that's not what's important here. You were dressed up to see a girl," Tyler said.

I glared at him, and sipped on my beer. I was only allowed two beers tonight. This was my first. I was savouring it like a pretentious man tasting wine. "Okay, so this is the exact reason why I didn't tell anyone I was doing an assignment with a girl, because I knew you'd all react like awful parents that read their kid's diary and assumed they know everything, when that diary is in fact a decoy."

"Weird childhood, but okay," Josh said, shrugging.

"Is he deflecting enough for us to think it means something?" Blake asked.

I sighed, glaring at the ceiling this time. "I'm going to poison all of you and no one will ever catch me. You'll all die, and they'll think it was natural," I breathed, not talking to them exactly.
"If you kill the three of us, it's going to be suspicious man," Josh pointed out.

"Don't be suspiscious, dooooon't be suspicious," Tyler started to sing, jumping on his seat.

"Are we thinking like Pathology re-enactment?" Josh asked.

I looked at Blake, confused. "What's he talking about?"

Blake shook his head, used to this shit. "A weird movie when doctors play a game of killing patient without leaving any trace."

"ARE YOU GOING TO INJECT THE POISON THROUGH MY EAR?" Josh suddenly yelled. Luckily, the music was loud in the pub, because otherwise we'd be getting weird stares. "So, they don't find the hole left by the needle?"

"I'll go back to med school just so I can kill you perfectly Josh," I answered his, grinning.

"I don't know, seems like a lot of work when you can just bash our heads in somewhere where there are no cameras," Tyler said, before taking a sip of his beer.

"I'd prefer to be killed in a fancier way," Blake added.

"Yeah, like if I'm murdered, I want something either super weird or super fucking elaborate," Josh agreed.

"I want people to be really disturbed when they hear the way I died if I'm murdered," Blake continued.

The friends I had...

"I want a true crime documentary on my murder," Josh grinned.

"Issues. Y'all have a lot of them," I said.