A/N: Hey guys, this was a really hard chapter for me to write, as I couldn't help but cry throughout the thought of it all. I really hope you enjoy
May the odds be ever in your favor
CHAPTER 3
I stand at the ruins of what used to be my old house. The place where the fireplace chugged through the winter and the small bed that I slept in all my life now gone. They are only memories now; Faint pieces that have stayed hidden in my mind until I force them to come out. I hold the bright primroses in my arms, up and against my chest and close to my heart. I see myself, running through the endless rain which curtains out the world. With two burnt loaves of bread, I brush past the door and inside the doors saving my family from starvation. The light that picked us up.
I see Prim and I leaving the quaint house for the day which caused this all to happen. The reaping for the 74th Hunger Games. Prim pressed up against my side as we walk in silence to our future, the future which led her to leave me. My little duck now only exists in my mind. Her soft soothing voice which calms me while in District 13, her quirky little quack while I tuck in her tail. I break down as the thoughts build up inside my mind haunting me, while I grasp onto the flowers which are the only things holding me onto reality. I feel the tears sink out from my eyes and glide down my face dripping to the floor which holds all my secrets all my past, all of my own life. My hand holds my face as I try to pull myself together but I just can’t, it’s like trying to take back the mistake you made, the wrong words you said; impossible.
My legs buckle to the floor, and I take the flowers in my shaking hands digging a small hole underground and bury them within, now the beautiful blossoms are the only things shining through. My hands still hold the light creatures and I dare not to let go. “I’m sorry, Prim.” More tears drown my eyes and I choke to hold in the words, trying to make my voice heard to Prim wherever she may be now.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me most.” I sigh, unable to hold it in, “I’m sorry I let them take you,” I begin balling hysterically now, the world only a reminder of my pain as I forget everything and everyone except the ghosts who sit by my side. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry my failure caused this all.”
I turn, seeing her at my side, she runs her hands down my back and hold me tight against her. Then another figure appears, and another under it looks as though all of District 12 has ghosts by my sides. Ghosts that are here because of me.
“Finnick, Annie is doing better, your son, he’s named after you and he is the most precious thing in the world. I’m sorry I stripped that pride from you.” He nods and sits calmly by my side twisting his fingers through mine.
“Cinna, we won. I am sorry I was foolish enough to take that view away from you.” He stands there and smiles, as though he were proud, even though he has no reason to be proud of me or anything that I do.
“Dad. Mom is alright though I don’t know where she is. She stayed strong and I know she thinks about you all the time. Obviously, I failed though as you have met Prim once again. You saved my life in many occasions and I will never let the light of you die. I’m sorry I let this happen.”
“Rue. My mockingjay. You are my hero. I still sing your whistle every time I see a mockingjay and I can’t help but think of you when I see them soar through the sky. Your family has stayed strong and there is word that all your siblings are alive. I will visit them when the time comes. And I’m sorry I was foolish enough to miss that spear, to not step in the way of it, to let it take you from your life. I’m sorry, Rue, I’m sorry.” She smiles, whistling to the birds and throughout the forest their songs light up the woods and I can’t help but smile through the tears.
“I’m sorry to everyone. I thought that the Capitol was your enemy, but obviously the real one is me.” I cried as every one of them began disappearing. From Finnick, whose hand dissolves from mine to Cinna who holds up a smile to me. I reach for Prim and my father, Prim kisses my head and heads off to the sky, and I scream as she leaves nothing but her past behind. My dad pulls me in for a hug, one that I have missed throughout too many years in my life and he leaves something no one else left.
“Be brave, Katniss, you’re going to live a wonderful life, my darling. I love you.” And with that, he’s gone. And I sit in the rubble of the old house while the whole world seeps back into reality.
As lonely as I am, I feel a piece of my heart gone, torn from me, while another piece grows over the lost one. A hand sweeps on my back, pulling me into a hug, and I don’t resist Peeta’s love. The feel of someone I love by my side makes me feel somewhat comforted. Peeta and I hold each other as the flowers grow beneath the life that will begin from the one that ended.
