(A couple days later)
Everything seemed lifeless. I felt lifeless. I sat on my windowsill and stared blankly outside. The palm trees waved briskly into the breeze that had once carried so much joy and laughter throughout my neighborhood. Now, every bit of life, every bit of land, every single person, seemed to be mourning my mothers death. There were flowers, notes, stuffed animals and more laid out in front of our driveway. I couldn't bear to look at them for too long, or else my eyes would well up and a lump the size of a tennis ball would form in my throat. My dad's words drifted into my thoughts.“She's dead.” Goosebumps arose on my body and tears started pouring out of my eyes once again. I had barely said one word to anyone for two days. I hadn't been going to school, answering text messages, answering phone calls, or socializing at all. Every bit of me was shutting off. I was pushing everyone away. I knew this wasn't healthy, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything else.
Knock, Knock.
I heard a faint yet obvious knock on my bedroom door. I didn't acknowledge the knocker, I just kept my gaze on the palm trees in the distance. My door slowly opened and steady footsteps crept closer to me.
“Hey,”
It was Maddie.
I didn't respond.
“Emma, please talk to me,” Maddie touched her hand to my shoulder and squeezed.
I didn't say anything. I couldn't find the words.
“Emma... I'm so, so sorry. I miss your mom too,” Maddie sighed. “I miss her too,” She repeated.
I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
Maddie wiped it away.
“I just wanted to check on you,” Maddie's voice was low and comforting.
I still held my gaze without saying anything.
“I'll leave you alone now. But please. Please, do not shut me out forever. I love you so much, Emma.”
I took a short breath to hold back the hysterics. I stayed silent.
Maddie made her way to my door slowly. She was worried about me, I could tell. I tilted my head back to rest on the wall behind me, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath.
“I didn't get to say goodbye,” I said shakily. Maddie was caught by surprise and looked in my direction.
“Emma...” She trailed off.
“I didn't get to tell my mom how much I loved her,”
“She already knew,”
“But everyone needs to be reminded of how much they're loved. And I didn't get to remind her,” Tears streamed down my cheeks. My eyes burned from the constant, salty tears. Maddie came over to the windowsill where I was sitting and sat down across from me. She took my hands and held them tightly.
“Emma,” She looked me in the eyes. “You're my best friend and I love you,” She let go of one of my hands, reached over and wiped the tears off of my cheeks. “Your mom loves you. And I know, I know that this is not what she would be wanting right now. She would want you to carry on and prove to the world that your presence is needed for everyone to be happy. I know that I need you for me to be happy. So does your little brother. So does your dad. So please, please don't shut everyone out. We are here for you and we want you to know that you're not alone.”
I knew Maddie was right. But I wasn't ready to let go of my mom yet. I needed her.
“I know,” I managed to whisper.
