Dirty Gold ✓ [bxb]

Chapter 23 - Green Eyed Dilemma

Aghn! I managed another update in my super crazy schedule. Thanks for being super patient guys and I'm sorry this chapter isn't so long but I needed it that way to fit exactly with the plans I have for the next part. Enjoy and sorry for any mistakes (I wrote this under duress)!

“Remind me why what evil powers you used to lure me here again?” I asked Martin as we both sat down Buddha style in the middle of his and Spencer’s huge room closet. Since my final exams were done and I had no classes, I had a lot more free time on my hands.

We had gone to watch a movie, had lunch and he gave me a tour of their impressive four bedroom townhouse. And somehow we ended up sorting clothes in his closet.

He rolled his eyes arranging a pair of shoes “Just shut up and pass me those hangers.”

I groaned passing his the two hangers beside me. Honestly when he wasn’t so focused on his art or gushing over anything related to Spencer, he was sort of a diva. But he was Martin so it was still cute on him.

“Why do you have such a huge ass closet anyway?” I asked sitting up straight. Martin looked focused on folding a multi-coloured scarf “Because Spencer has so many suits and he likes them spaced and organized.”

“Really?”

He nodded “I could care about having so much space less really, but sometimes I wonder if he’s got OCD. He’s too coordinated and organized sometimes and it annoys the hell out of me. Can’t deal with a single hair out of place.” Despite his irritated tone you couldn’t really miss the fondness in his voice.

I sighed “Well at least the only thing Axel bitches to me about is picking up my shoes.”

Martin turned to look at me with a bright smile “I'm so happy for you guys. All loved up and ready to move in together.” I told him all about our love confessions, even though I left out the part about Lauren and the fake pregnancy. It just didn’t feel right to expose her like that even if she somehow seemed to deserve it.

“I'm not sure about the moving in part yet. Still thinking about it.” I admitted.

He frowned a little “Oh, what’s the wait?”

I sighed “Well I don’t really know. I love Axel and I really do want to spend every single day with him but something within me is just holding me back.”

“Sweetheart that’s just your subconscious being pessimistic.” Martin concluded now folding a bunch of ties into a drawer. “Moving in together is probably the biggest stage in a relationship and I understand how that might frighten you a bit.”

I shook my head “It’s just….I’ve never felt the way I feel for him for anyone else before. It just feels as though if I try to grasp it everything’s going to evaporate so quickly. It’s like once we move in together everything’s been glued shut for good and that somehow scares me.”

Martin gave me a sympathetic look “That’s the thing about being in a serious relationship. I understand exactly how you feel.” He dropped the last folded tie in the drawer.

“When Spencer and I got together, I moved in with him early on in our relationship. It was mostly because I wanted to get away from my parents but later I started feeling paranoid. For a moment I almost backed out because I thought we did everything too fast and we weren’t going to last.” He sighed running his hands through his hair with a small smile.

“But it turned out that I was scared for nothing. My advice would be for you to think about it properly, but at the same time don’t back out of anything because you're afraid of jinxing it. Chances are that it will be the best decision you’ve ever made.”