The Mark on Us ( A Destiel Fanfic)

A Beginning

Dean jolted awake in his bed, drenched with buckets of sweat that gave away his state of mind. The room was pitch black and he couldn't distinguish anything in front of him. Except the Mark of Cain which glowed a brilliant red, casting shadows across the bed.

"A dream," he muttered reassuringly to himself, rubbing at the mark, " Just a twisted dream."

There was no denying now that the fight he had with Cain a few days before shook him up. He came out of the battle with only sparse scratches and a couple bruises, yet the pain he felt was unlike anything he had experienced. Knowing that the Mark of Cain could never be erase from his existence made matters almost ten times worse. Before he had confronted Cain, he had a smidgen of hope; possibly Dean could come out of this with a decent amount of humanity. But now he lives in fear. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees a blur of blood and screams, a nightmare that frequents his head like an old friend. That's why Dean finds it hard to sleep at night. For he knows that one day, he'll open his eyes and realize that the nightmare came true. He really did become the monster every one promised he would be.

Dean rolls over and checks the clock stationed precariously on his nightstand. 3:20 a.m it read.

"So much for getting a good nights sleep."

He gets up from his bed and walks to the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge. He tried so hard to stay away from what Sam refers to as "a great big bowl of health issues" and gravitate towards the "rabbit food" he frequents. Yet, knowing that no matter what he does, the Mark would be branded on him forever completely changed his view on things. One beer wouldn't make a difference but it would surely help him keep his eyes open. Who knows, maybe one day he'll drink enough to ease his pain for good.

He takes a seat in the main room where stacks of books and paper were cluttered on the table. Papers claiming that they could help Dean become himself again but they ended up just being lies. He angrily threw the slew of papers on the floor and slammed his unopened beer on the table. His hands were placed on his lap, shaking like an old dog trying to get away from the cold. He felt angry all the time. Like the world was a bitch that loved to see him in constant agony.

"Dean?" A voice questioned from behind him. The sudden sound made his heart skip a beat and the Mark burn against his skin. He always seems to appear at the worse times and Dean was almost positive that the angel knew that. He could seem to sense if something was wrong even if he were halfway across the world. It was one of the things he grew to hate about him. Dean could save himself, whether it be by beer or by silence. Either one seemed to work.

"What are you doing up so late, Cas? Shouldn't you be asleep?" He opened his beer with ease and took a huge gulp that instantly filled him with relief.

"I may not be much of an angel but I am an angel nonetheless which means I don't sleep Dean. I heard you get up from your sleeping quarters and couldn't help but wonder how you are holding up. You haven't spoken to your brother or to me in almost a week. We know that killing Cain must have had some sort of effect on you, but it isn't doing you any good keeping it in. It isn't healthy."

"When did I ever give a damn about healthy? I don't have any urge to off someone if that's what you are getting at. I'm still....me, for the most part, so why don't you get off my case and go give a shit about someone else. Someone who actually cares. Which isn't me, Dr. Phil."

Cas doesn't seem to falter one bit at the words flowing out of Deans mouth. The fact is that he had heard them a million times before on various occasions. The venom that he spews is a sign for how much damage he is withholding from him, and by the looks of it, there was a lot.

"You know you really shouldn't be drinking liquids such as that Dean. They only serve to encourage the mark even more."

He continues on drinking the beer and ignoring the pleas of the angel, raising his eyebrows at Cas while doing so. Yet, before he knew it, the beer was launched all the way across the room, shattering against the wall.

"What the hell was that for Cas?!" He yells getting up from his chair, causing it to tumble backwards.

"For being a stubborn assbutt! Look at yourself Dean! Drowning your sorrows in cheap beer and acting like nothing happened. Do you not even care about getting the mark off of you, or is that just a lost cause like me now?"

He rolls his eyes and folds his arms across his chest in defiance.

"I don't see how you are looking at this like it's a surprise. I'm sorry I don't share my feelings in front of the class every time I get a booboo. My problems go even deeper than that and sometimes they can't be fixed. And besides, making it seem like nothing happened is better than the alternative. So why don't you go, get me another beer and go do whatever it was you were doing. I'm done here."

Cas takes a seat next to him and shakes his head. "I'm not leaving until you admit that you give a damn that you are not okay. That you are scared of the monster that lies within from the mark. Admit for once in life, you don't know what's around the next bend and it terrifies the living crap out of you."

Tears begin to slowly flood down Deans face and he is completely taken off guard as to why he is letting himself go in front of Cas. Hell, he wouldn't even cry in front of his brother because that's admitting that he is weak. Hunters aren't weak, nor do they cry. Yet, somehow, here he was, crying like a little bitch by an angel. Boy his dad would be proud.

Cas scanned him and tilted his head, his blue eyes tired but curious. He had only seen Dean shed tears once in his lifetime yet that seemed like a whole century ago. He was so delicate and fragile back then, he had wondered what happened to that man. But as he studied him more, he realized that man never left, just hid under many layers of Dean. He brings his arms around him, unsure of what else to do. He had witness Sam do this once.

"Cas.....you're right. The Mark is slowly making me into something I don't want to be..and....I can't do it anymore. You say I don't know what's around the corner Cas, but I do. And it isn't a person I ever want to be. I'm becoming the very thing I swore I would never become. A monster. I'm a monster Cas..."

The angel reaches up and smooths Deans hair in a way to calm him down. He brings his hand and brushes it against his rough cheek, quietly swiping away his tears.

"That's why I'm here Dean. I will do everything in my power to get that Mark off of you. I don't care what it takes, but I will find a way. I will never let you become a monster as long as I live Dean Winchester. I will see to that."

He grabs the hand that lays on his cheek and intertwined it with his own. Cas looks at Dean, and smiles, an unfamiliar sight that always appears foreign on his face. Their eyes dance across each other, Deans lingering a bit longer on the angels lips. He didn't know what came over him but he felt himself leaning forward into his touch. He could almost feel his lips under his when a shuffling sound was heard behind them and Sam walks in, his hair sticking up in various directions.

"What are you guys doing up so early?" He yawns, scratching at his head.

"We were just.." Cas starts but Dean shortly finished by getting up and brushing off the invisible food he had got on him.

"Talking about the beer that Cas convinced me not to drink. Now if you excuse me, I think I'll head back to bed."

Dean walks off toward his bedroom once again, ignoring the calls from Cas to hold on. He didn't know what came over him or what in the hell just happened a few minutes before, but he didn't care. The Mark was glowing brighter than he had ever seen it and the act made him think back to his dreams.

Cain told him his story would end where his started. But Dean would never let himself get that far gone. Cain may have been a cold blooded killer but Dean was nothing like him. So why is it that Dean no longer believes the lies he supplies himself with?

It was in that moment that he knew he had to leave from this place. Get far away from the people he cared about. Or he knew, deep down, the monster inside him would break out. For good this time.

The Mark glowed a bright red.