An Unlikely Match (Catradora AU)

Chapter 11

Catra shook out her hands, trying to regain her breath as she walked away from the shop. Her mind felt cloudy, and she continued to flex and relax her fingers before finally shoving them into her jacket pockets just for something to do. It was far too early to go to work and also too early for her to be awake in general. Catra groaned. She was exhausted and hadn't slept well but there was absolutely zero chance of falling asleep now and therefore no use in going back home.

Instead, she wandered the streets of Seattle, grabbing a coffee from a local spot and wondering if Adora would want coffee as well. She blushed. She wouldn't be going back to the shop today. Or maybe ever, She tried not to think it but the thought strung itself through her mind and tugged. Her heart seemed to tug with it. Adora doesn't want you. She's never wanted you. "Please shut up," Catra said to herself. She bumped into someone and ignored them when they yelled "hey!" at her. She was too distracted to think and turned off the main road, walking up across the street and away from the cars. The pavement gave way to grass and Catra strode up a long hilly path in front of her, arriving at a spot she liked very much. She had wandered into a park absent mindedly and found a high hill that she knew had a bench at the top that overlooked the city. She hadn't intended to walk here but she needed a break from the public eye and was content to find herself facing a stretch of silence instead of people. She needed to think.

Catra strode up the hill and collapsed onto the bench, leaning her head back against the wood side. Her legs were stretched out into the dirt and her arms were extended out, so she took up every inch of the bench just in case someone tried to come "sit with her". She grimaced at the thought. Unless it was Adora, Catra thought. She groaned again. To say she had been waiting a long time for that kiss would be the understatement of the century, but now as it started to settle in, nerves took its place. It had been so long that Catra had come to terms with the idea that it would never happen. In fact, she had built the past 4 years around it, even telling herself that she could be happy with someone else. And yet, here she sat. Catra wondered how long she had really wanted this and wondered if there was even a moment to put it too. All that came to mind was the day they met.

Adora had been seated awkwardly in a circle of crying adults when Catra sat next to her. They were just two teens trying to understand grief in a magnitude so heavy it should have shut out every light in their bright young eyes. Catra though, had never dealt with sadness in that way. Death was terrible but expected and Catra felt she had no choice but to live on. She missed her mother every day and probably always would but the sadness, even in her child state, had buried itself in her and started to sprout as an angry seed in her belly. No one cared if Catra dealt or didn't deal with her emotions and her "father" had signed her up for grief counseling merely as a way to avoid her going to him. Not that she had any intention of going to him in the first place. So, Catra sulked in, annoyed and angry at the world. She remembered feeling like she had crossed a point of no return. With no one to care for her and no care for the world, she felt most alive being a menace to society, starting with the grief group. Then, she had sat next to Adora, just a mere coincidence Catra would say, although that wasn't entirely the case.

Catra looked Adora over, keeping her face one of mild disinterest. Still, she wanted to sit next to the pretty, happy blonde who sat up stark straight and listened intently to the other's while never speaking herself. Out of pure interest and an unintelligible pull, Catra took the seat beside her. Adora smiled at her, and Catra felt something tighten in her chest. It wasn't a pity smile like the other's but a real smile that still reached her eyes. Those eyes, Catra thought. Adora had these bright blue mesmerizing eyes, but that wasn't what caught Catra's attention that day. Adora's eyes, unlike Catra's, had a strong fight behind them. Adora was not done yet, not even close, and anyone who looked at her could see that. She was, somehow, still full of life. Jealousy filled young Catra. Why should this girl be happy when I will never be? What does she have that keeps her soul intact?