ᵒⁿᵉ 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 ⁿᵉʷᵗᵐᵃˢ ᵃᵘ (ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉᵈ)

what if he hates me

Newt has decided to just try to hide everything better. That way, Thomas won't know anything and he won't have to hate him. He knows Thomas wouldn't care if he's gay, but he's worried he'd care if he liked him. That he'd hate him. 

Newt sighs. He walks into his house after school. Lizzy waits for him on the couch. Newt flops down next to her, closing his eyes.

"Realized I'm right?" She asks. 

"I can't, Lizzy." He whispers. "I can't like him. I can't. He's my best friend; not to mention he's a boy."

"Newt, nobody cares if you're gay." Lizzy says. "I don't care, Mom wouldn't care and Thomas certainly wouldn't care. I'm pretty sure he's gay."

"What?" Newt says. "What are you talking about? He's not gay. He liked Teresa."

"No," Lizzy says. "He 'liked' Teresa. He was lying about that. I know what it looks like when a boy likes a girl. Thomas did not like Teresa. I promise you."

"Well, it doesn't matter." Newt says. "He's still hate me."

"Would you hate him if he told you he liked you?" Lizzy asks.

"No, of course not." Newt says. "He's my best friend. I couldn't hate him."

Lizzy waves her hands. "Do you not just realize what you just said!? He wouldn't hate you, you fucking idiot! He loves you and I'm pretty sure he likes you too!"

"He does not!" Newt says. "You are a liar! How would you know?"

"I've seen the way he looks at you." Lizzy says. "That is not the way a friend looks at a friend. You should just talk to him. Tell him how you feel."

"I can't." Newt says quietly. "I can't, Lizzy. What if he did hate me? What would I do then?"

"If he does hate you, then fuck him." Lizzy says. "But he won't. I bet you anything he won't." 

Newt shifts. "I don't know if I can tell him. I can't lose him. I really can't."

"You won't lose him." Lizzy says. "Just talk to him."

The next day at school, Newt is more nervous than usual. He can't stop thinking about what Lizzy said. If it's true...it can't be true. Thomas does not like him. He walks over to Thomas, trying to act as normal as possible.

"Hey, Tommy." He says, sitting next to him. He doesn't look at him, though.

"Hey." Thomas says. "How're you doing?"

"I'm okay." Newt says, trying to meet his gaze, though his heart nearly stops when he does. "Y-yeah, I'm okay." He gives a small smile. 

Thomas smiles too and Newt suddenly feels light headed. "Good. I'm glad." 

"And I'm-I'm sorry." Newt says. "For the past few days. I've just been...off. So I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Thomas says. "I wasn't upset. I was just worried about you."

"You-why?" Newt says. 

Thomas looks at him. "Because we're best friends."

"Right." Newt says. He can't explain why he's disappointed. "Yeah."

"You're doing it again." Thomas says. 

"Sorry!" Newt says. "Sorry! I really am trying!"

"You could just tell me what's going on." Thomas says. 

"It's nothing, really." Newt says. "It's stupid. It doesn't matter. I'll get over it. Don't worry."

"Get over what?" Thomas asks.

Newt's eyes widen. "Um...um...noth-nothing."

"Okay, liar." Thomas says. "What is wrong?"

Newt shifts. "Nothing. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Newt, I'm just trying to help!" Thomas says.

"You can't help!" Newt says. "You can't! I can deal with it!"

"But what are you dealing with?" Thomas says.

"Look, Tommy," Newt says. "I will tell you eventually. Probably. Just drop it, alright?"

Thomas sighs. "Fine."

After school, Newt walks home when Thomas catches up to him.

"Hey," He says. "I'm coming over."

"O-okay." Newt says. "Sure. Oh, you can come over by the way."

"Sorry." Thomas laughs. "I just wanted to and figured you'd say no if I asked."

"Why would I say no?" Newt asks.

"You've been upset." Thomas says. "I just wanted to see you. I haven't really seen you in so long."

Newt can't help but smile. "Okay."

They walk inside and Lizzy immediately runs over.

"Lizzy!" Thomas says. "I missed you!"

Lizzy hugs him. "Thomas!" She steps back. "I just need to talk to my brother for one second. You can go to the living room or whatever." Thomas nods and walks to the couch. "Tell him!" Lizzy whispers. "Tell him right now!"

"No!" Newt hisses. "I will not! He doesn't need to know!"

"Yes, he does!" Lizzy says. "If you don't tell him I will!"

"Lizzy, no!" He says. "Please don't do that! I don't want to ruin everything!"

"But what if he liked you back?" Lizzy asks.

Newt pauses. "Well, that'd be great, but he doesn't."

He doesn't let Lizzy say another word. He walks over to Thomas.

"Sorry about her." He says. 

"Don't worry about it." Thomas says. "I love her."

Newt smiles. "Right...Well, she missed you almost as much as I did."

Thomas smiles too. "That's cute. You're cuter."

Newt blushes. "What?"

Thomas laughs. "Sorry. I'll shut up now." He checks his watch. "Actually, I have to go. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah..." Newt says. 

Thomas leaves and Newt watches him, completely confused.

A/N: Why can't children do surgery? *sighs* well, thanks for reading. Love you guys. <3.