The Newest Moon

She Kissed Jacob?

Chapter 20: She kissed Jacob?

Edward POV:

I did not want to leave Bella, but I heard Charlie's car and I just knew she didn't want to explain this to him just yet. So I ran back to my house, telling myself that patience is key. Hopefully, someday she would allow me back into her house. Until that day I would happily be her friend. She had let me back into her life, which was already more than I deserved. I did not need to push my luck any further.

I pinched myself, to assure the last thirty minutes really happened. Bella kept surprising me, over and over, even now. When she apologized for being angry, I didn't know what I heard. I was almost angry at her; why didn't she scream at us, why didn't she throw a rock at our heads, even though it would do no damage, the message would be perfectly clear. Why did she apologise?

Because she did not want to upset us, that's why. She did not want to hurt our feelings. It hurt to hear her say that, even after everything I've put her through, she did not want to hurt me on purpose because she cared too much. Even though I had damaged her self esteem, she did not want to hurt me. It unleashed a feeling of hope within me. When she forgave me, I saw she truly meant it. I wasn't ready to forgive myself for it just yet, but knowing she was ready would already be enough. And even though I could not hold her hand and she wanted to stay just friends, that was enough. I will earn her trust back someday, somehow. She had rightfully guided her heart and I needed to show her she could trust me. Esme was right about that.

And I would love to be her friend for now. Alice would for sure freak out. Being her friend, I was allowed back into her life and it meant the world to me.

For a moment, I was afraid I pushed my luck a bit too much when I asked her about her other friends. I figured it wasn't a hard conversation topic and I did not want the night to end just yet. So I might as well engage in some small talk with her. And hearing her say she had gotten closer to Jessica and Angela warmed my heart, as I saw how fondly she spoke of them. I was happy she had found some companionship with them. However, hearing her talk about that Jacob Black kid gave me a little familiar stab in my stomach, one I had to get used to. I saw she flinched a little bit when she was mentioning Jacobs name, so I couldn't help but wonder if they were in a fight recently.

She also mentioned the party Jessica had thrown last Friday night, and my face revealed how funny I thought it was. She could not hide her embarrassment when I asked her about the alcohol at that said party. She didn't know I was keeping an eye on her and would never tell her, she would for sure freak out about it.

She joked about me being cryptic and I was happy about that topic. I pushed my luck just a little bit too much, trying to flirt with her but keeping it low key. She returned it since it was similar to how she would always talk with Emmett. Light and jokingly. I had to slow myself down, afraid that if I pushed too much, she would run.

She then talked about coming over to our house in the next upcoming days. We would certainly get no work done, but that didn't matter. It would be wonderful to have her over as a friend, knowing she would stay, talk and eat, just as she did before we all left. I slipped up and told her I would make sure the fridge would be constantly full and I could slap myself for that. This was it. I pushed it too far. Again. This was the moment she would demand me to leave. She would think I was some kind of creep and I ruined it, just mere minutes after becoming her friend. Over and over again, I neglected her boundaries.

And then, she surprised me once more, making sure I knew she appreciated it. I could thank all the Gods that are out there for her response. Unfortunately, that's when I heard Charlie's car coming our way and told Bella our night had to end here.