The Newest Moon

An Awkward Car Ride

Chapter 19: An Awkward Car Ride

Bella POV:

Truth to be told; Edward driving me home was probably for the best since I was way too agitated to drive myself. I got out of my car, walked over to the passenger's seat while he sat down in the driver's seat. He drove away, and that little act alone made me think of our better times together. He often drove, because he was simply a way better driver than I could ever be. It was something we often made fun of.

Who would have thought we would end up like this? I had always thought we were good together, but apparently, he had some demons on his own. I would have never known if it weren't for my birthday party. The strange thing is that a part of me just could not comprehend why he left me. A part of me always wondered if there was something I had done that had pushed him over the edge, somehow. And if it was something that could have been prevented. I often blamed myself for it.

And then he showed up in the hospital. When he told me the reason for leaving me, I could not believe him just yet. It was contradicting everything I thought was true. But now, seeing how upset both he and Alice were, the seed of doubt in my head slowly started to disappear. It wasn't completely gone and I had not forgiven him for leaving me, but being here must mean something, right?

I became a lot calmer. I could practically feel my heart beating calmer than before, so he must have also heard it. I turned to face him. He kept looking at the road, and I was wondering if he was afraid to say something that might upset me further. I tried to speak but I didn't know what I had to say to him. 'Edward...,' I eventually tried.

'Yes, Bella,' he said, still avoiding my eyes and keeping track of the road in front of us. As if he needed to do that.

I inhaled deeply to prepare myself for what I was about to do next. I didn't know if it was the best option, but I also knew that I wanted to do it. 'I just wanted to apologize for the way I've been behaving towards you and Alice. I made a mistake yesterday and I feel guilty about it. So I was having an off day today and I only wanted to go to the movies to enjoy myself a bit. Then, I saw the both of you sitting there and I just snapped. I saw red, so to say. So I want to apologize for that. It wasn't completely fair to the both of you.'

I smiled at him, assuring him I truly meant it. It was a little olive branch, to show him I kind of understood their reasoning for following me. I mean; they were still in the wrong for following me to the movies and they should have never done so, but I could get behind their reasoning for it. Still wrong, but I understood.

Edward closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. 'Bella, you don't have any reason for apologising to us. We made a mistake coming here.'

I nodded. 'You sure did. It was a mistake following me here and you should have never done so. But now, I can see your reasoning behind it. It was still wrong though.'

'You should not have to say sorry for being angry at it.' He finally turned to look at me. I wasn't shaken by the fact he stopped watching the road now, but I was shaken at how he looked at me. He looked almost angry. His brow was creased, his eyes a dark ember.

'What's wrong?' I gasped in surprise.

'Bella, you have no reason for apologizing to me or Alice. We were in the wrong. Your reaction to us was perfectly normal. You should be outraged, you have every reason to. We disrespected your wishes to be left alone by us, only because we wanted to watch you in secret for an hour because we've missed you. That's sick. Absolutely sick on our part. So I don't want to hear you asking for forgiveness anymore.' The fire in his eyes could have easily scared me away if it weren't for the fact that I knew him and his facial expressions from the back of my mind. He was angry at himself.