THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU ➪ 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐒

9.

*REECE'S POV*

 Emptiness. That's what I have been feeling for a month. I feel sheltered, or alone. But I know I am not. It's just the stupid thoughts that are getting to my head. About the kiss, about the wedding, about Chris... I didn't know what to do.

 I did end up going to our Saturday stargazing session like we always did as kids. He acted like nothing ever happened, well.. Sort of. I think he was very standoffish, if that's even a word. He tried his best to keep space between us, and made sure he didn't overstep. I don't know if it was about the kiss, but it felt like something needed to be discussed, and both of us didn't want to talk about it.

 Just like that though, we didn't even bother talking about the kiss. What was there to talk about? We couldn't just keep talking about it, because that wasn't the focus of our friendship. We did this before when we were teenagers, sitting underneath an oak tree. Why does this feel worse?

 Eventually the secret slipped out to Scott and Reed. Reed wasn't surprised one bit that we kissed, because he's been always rooting for us to be together forever. Scott, however, lost his shit.

 In a somewhat, acceptable manner.

He couldn't believe that his best friend and brother had finally locked lips and shared a special moment, but he had also been waiting for the day to come for a very long time. But then I told him about what happened afterwards, and then he got pissed. But he promised not to talk to Chris about it. He was going to try and sweep it underneath the rug.

We were getting closer and closer to the wedding, and it made me sick to my stomach. The more I thought about how quickly it was approaching, the more it made me want to crawl into my own skin. But, I have to let it go.

I have to.

But I can't?

It was a late Friday night, and after a whole week at work, I was ready to relax and chill out with my friends. Well, the friends being Harper, Reed and Scott. We all were piled onto my couch, sipping on red wine. I was surprised Reed even came, since he's always busy working or hooking up with another girl. For some reason he wanted to hang with his sister, her coworker and his childhood friend.

We all were piled on there watching the news. I know you're not supposed to watch the news, because number one, it's very boring and you might fall asleep. Two, the case of anxiety travels through your body like it is nobody's business. But we did it anyway to make fun of politicians and to coo at all of the interesting things that are on the news.

"Reed, pass me the wine bottle." Harper asked, holding onto her empty wine glass. He rolled his eyes at her, playfully.

"Harper, this is like your fourth glass!" He tells her, but she gets up and snatches the wine bottle from the table, pouring herself a new one. "I don't care, I'll even have a fifth glass if I make it there."

I rolled my eyes as I watched the two argue. I felt Scott nudge my leg and I looked over at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I've just been feeling a little out of place lately." It's true. I feel like I am in a bubble, floating away from reality.. Or at least a reality I strive for. One with Chris, one without Sawyer. One where it's just the two of us.

"Is it about the kiss?" He asked me quietly so Reed and Harper couldn't hear, and I nodded.

"You know the more you think about it, the more you are going to dwell on it.. Right?" Scott asked. He's right. But I just can't let it go. I can't let go of the feeling of his lips on mine, his touch, his smell, him. I mean, he is my best friend and we've kissed before when we were younger. That's when we were kids and we didn't know any better. Now that my love for him is stronger than ever before, the thought kept coming in my head... despite it being a long time ago. Why couldn't I just let it go? Why was it so hard?