A Salty Banana

Chapter Four

I trudged down the cold New York suburben streets, the rain drenching me as I pulled the plastic bag I'd picked up from outside Vectors complex tightly around me.

I was headed back to Gru's- obviously. I had to let him know I was safe... he must be worried sick by now, I feared.
Vector had shown me to the door almost immediately- not like I'd of stayed anyway. If it weren't for my lack of dick, I'm sure the horny bastard would of gotten a lot of use out of me.

Some people.

I turned the corner, my pace slowing as the large black house stuck out. Home.
I didn't know why I was nervous... I suppose inhaling all that seafood must of gone to my head.

Quickly spraying myself with my favourite Calvin Klein In2U Him Eau de Toilette Spray 150ml, I ran up to the door and knocked- hoping that Master Gru would come running.
Instead, I was met with Dave- my fellow comrade.
However he pulled a face, spitting at my feet as he gave me a dirty look and retreated back inside.

This shocked me, as although us minions could be feisty we never showed such disrespect during a global pandemic.
All the same I wandered inside, getting the lift back down to the lab.

As soon as I stepped out of the lift every minion fell quiet- all of them staring at me disapprovingly as I tiptoed through the crowd. The whispers growing louder.

Betrayal...
Slag...
Dirty Whore...
A disgrace to Master Gru...
Affairs with Vector....
Not one of us...

My face burned as I tried to get through- however at that exact moment I met eyes with Master Gru, as he stood there on the stage- magnificent as ever!
The huge bulge in his pants certainly showed he'd been busy- the whispers fading as I was transfixed by this godsend of a sight!

However, the bliss did not last long.
As soon as we made eye contact he gave me a hard, cold stare- before turning and heading back to his office.

I yelled, trying to stumble forward through the crowd- I had to tell meine Fuhrer that these rumours were not true!

However I was smacked down by three of my comrade minions, holding baseball bats as the others began to kick and spit on me- treating me like a disgraced housewife!
I saw master Gru look back- and for a moment, a hope filled my heart. However he simply turned and kept on walking- leaving me heartbroken as I lay there, the rest of the minions finally backing of as the Minion Rush music started up again.

This abuse didn't stop.

For the next week I endured more comments, minions ganging up on me in the shower whilst slag was written all over my bedsheets- more spitting and comments wherever I went.

I tried to pledge my case- but nobody would listen.

However, I was most concerned about Master Gru.

I had to put this right.

On Friday I put on my best white dungarees, along with my fancy shoes and made my way to Master Grus private office- managing to avoid other minions on the way.

As soon as I arrived I slicked back my hair with my Alberto Balsam Ultra Strong Styling Gel 200ml, and sprayed some disinfectant in my mouth- before knocking on the door as loud as I could.

The day was finally here...
The moment I'd waited for...

I went over the speech in my head, what I'd say:

My love is of a birth as rare
As 'tis for object strange and high;
It was begotten by Despair
Upon Impossibility.

Magnanimous Despair alone
Could show me so divine a thing
Where feeble Hope could ne'er have flown,
But vainly flapp'd its tinsel wing.

And yet I quickly might arrive
Where my extended soul is fixt,
But Fate does iron wedges drive,
And always crowds itself betwixt.

For Fate with jealous eye does see
Two perfect loves, nor lets them close;
Their union would her ruin be,
And her tyrannic pow'r depose.

And therefore her decrees of steel
Us as the distant poles have plac'd,
(Though love's whole world on us doth wheel)
Not by themselves to be embrac'd;

Unless the giddy heaven fall,
And earth some new convulsion tear;
And, us to join, the world should all
Be cramp'd into a planisphere.

As lines, so loves oblique may well
Themselves in every angle greet;
But ours so truly parallel,
Though infinite, can never meet.

Therefore the love which us doth bind,
But Fate so enviously debars,
Is the conjunction of the mind,
And opposition of the stars.

I waited- however as twenty seconds passed, I went to knock again.
That's when I heard a huge crash from inside the room, followed by a moan.

Master Gru!

Horrified and shocked, I grabbed the door handle and flew into the room to tend to Meine Furher- stopping short as my heart dropped.

Her.

"Oh-! Can we help you?"

She stammered, flicking back her horrendous ginger hair as she panted- master Gru looking up at me in shock as I froze.

My heart, shattering inside of me.
I couldn't stand it any longer.

Unable to hide my tears I flew down the stairs, out of the front door as I collapsed onto the dead lawn- my rain soaking down on me as I kneeled there, sobbing.

My one true love... stolen. Stolen by a ginger whore!