The Snuggle Therapy:College Service

College Service | Forty • Four

Victor

one week earlier ...

My intentions for getting Maxie to do the Snuggle Therapy is not the purest there is, I admit that. but I know it's what I need. no matter how many times I deny it myself. as Callum pointed out, we have to stop dancing around each other. peel the band-aid off as the saying goes ...

I'm not familiar with what a heart attack feels like but I'm pretty sure I'm close to having one right now. I haven't seen her in weeks since Rory's when I ran away from her. I wasn't ready then, I'm even sure I'm ready now.

There was no time to even care because Maxie is having a breakdown and the mere thought of it causes me pain. it's clear that we're both unstable. her voice over the phone sent me back to a few weeks ago, back to Rory's house. her stricken face when she saw me, she was clearly there because I was there. Rory called her and the heartbreak I see in her eyes when I recoil from her and ran away like she contains some sort of virus etch in my head like a nightmare. why am I such a messed up bitch?

My thoughts focused on her as I navigate to the familiar cafe, they were outside by the other side of the cafe, and Callum was parked on the opposite side of it, I saw her immediately,  her back turned to me and the relief flooded me almost gives me whiplash. The heart attack I felt subside into a calm rhythm. I still feel like my heart is so full it's ready to burst. I don't even know what I'm expecting, why I'm worried. I have to calm down. because there's really no reason to freak out anymore. I mean I'm just meeting the girl I've been in love with since the beginning of time it seems and my baby mama--god damn. I don't even want to go there, but there you go. I mean Max and I have a very complicated history between us. Clearly a million unresolved issues. I'm sure this reunion is going to be very smooth. like a velvet.

I stop walking to let out the breath I've been holding, in relief, I feel weakened by the adrenaline. It's not like the Dorm was far but it was not a ten-minute drive. fifteen to twenty tops if we're in a hurry. but when we left Callum saw the look on my face and let the car fly. thank god nothing happened.

Maxie turns around as if sensing me, her hair is down. and I remember it so well. I feel my breathing hitch at the sight and at the reminder. she still has the same effect on me. despite the tear-stained face she still looks beautiful. I start walking again, my legs seem to have a mind of their own and Maxie became close and closer and before I know it I'm in front of her.

we both stare at each other not saying anything, I have so many things to say but I feel like I had to take her in before I do that. she remains seated looking up at me. I can tell she wants to say something but she decided to stop herself and stare at me. we fell into an awkward silence, none of us knows what to say--hell, I didn't know what to say while on the phone.

this is a mess.

"um hi, I'm Callum." I heard Callum say from next to me. I didn't pay attention to him and then I heard a faint response from a woman. "Hey, I'm Tate ... What's going on here?" she murmurs confuse, she sounded like she's trying not to make a sound.

"Uh ... This is kind of their thing," Callum said. our thing? I scoff mentally. but it really, if you think about it--it seems like our thing. it's either we are fighting or we are not talking.

"oh." The girl responds clearly weirded out.

meanwhile, we continue to look at each other not uttering a word. like everything is being spoken mentally as if we talk by not talking but know what we're telling each other with our gaze. I realize how cheesy I sounded in my head. I take a deep breath and decided to break the tension in the air.

"Hey." I muster, I sound breathless. Maxie jumps at the sound of my voice as if waking up from her trance.

"I'm not very pleased to see you," she murmurs, very silently I almost didn't hear her. but I did. I didn't miss the tremor in her voice either. my heart lurches at her words.  I almost scoff.

"Well, I'm not a happy camper either," I chastise just as low. Maxie looks down avoiding my gaze.

"What do you want Victor," she asks me, now she sounds tired, resigned.

I sigh "I wasn't lying on the phone. I said what I said. I ... need you." I made sure that the desperation in my voice shows and it feels raw. I feel exposed and naked in front of her. our voice silent still like we're sharing a secret.

Maxie let out a silent snort and roll her eyes, still not meeting mine. "Why?" she asks.

"I haven't been sleeping ... for two weeks now," I confess, my voice hoarse, vulnerable.

she looks up at me, finally. my eyes were there to meet hers and I see the doubt in hers still. an apprehension. I didn't resent it, I understand it. although I can feel myself getting even more tired. she shakes her head and looks away again. as if she cannot bear to look at me.

"You left me again ..." she trails off. "After everything, I learned ... I don't know what your thinking," she said, voice quivering. my heart skips a beat. I know Maxie knows I remembered everything. everything.

This means she should know I should hate her for what she did to me. but the way she's acting, it's as if I'm the one who ruined her life. I can feel my anger resurfacing and I had to take a deep breath to even it. I have to remind myself that we have so much to talk about ... a lot of things happened and I don't know half of it. Callum made me see things--he was logical. he made me make sure I ask Maxie first about what happens before I jump into hating her. her sides, I have to know her side of the story.

"We have so many things to talk about .." I said. then I feel like all the air in my body left my system and I disappeared.

Jason's POV

He's fucking up real bad, it's been ages since I allowed myself to surface. I feel like this chance with Maxie is not something we can fuck up anymore. I can feel him being scared like he's begging me to come out but not fully aware of me. I can't blame him, I haven't existed in so long, I was deep asleep within him. it's been a few days since I felt that flicker of life. it all started with blinding rage. it awakens me, he used to call me unconsciously when he is unable to handle a difficult situation. but so far, he's been doing great dealing with all of it, well, until now. until now that he is facing his biggest weakness .. and ironically, his greatest strength.

Maxie's face welcomed me back to the world of consciousness. like a beacon. like airflow, she gave me life. my heart instantly irradicated, almost losing its beat. her face still takes my breath away.

I blame gravity for my next action, because like a fish out of the sea. her mouth is my salvation.

I leaned in and whisper "Hey Maxie, long time no see." recognition made her eyes widen, and before she reacts my mouth was on hers.n

and just like that, I'm home.

*******

An: I know it's been a year ... but here you go. I'm so so happy with this chapter. I know it's short but it gave me life ... Jason is back!!!

I can't wait for this book to end istg!! I might seem like I don't care about these books anymore but they are my life and I think about them everyday! I hope you guys like this chapter!!!

Stream This Love (Taylor's Version)!!!