When the Spring Begins (Spring Series #1)

chap. 03

chap. 03

I am starting to collect my doubts once again. Never did I once imagine myself feeling these things because of all the assurance he gave me. But until when will it all be valid?

I clearly told him that if one day we'll start to fall apart, cheating should not be our last choice – it is setting each other free instead of throwing away our relationship by committing a sin. 

It is because if you cheat, there will only be three reasons for that – you are selfish because you want your partner to suffer from a loveless relationship; second, you are tempted but your heart still belongs to the one you committed yourself with; third, you can't just let go because of the memories and comfort you have for that person. Either of the three, at the end of the day, you will still be named as a cheater who'll hurt the person you once treasured.

And if I am going to pick our situation from those right now – it will be the second scenario once I proved my doubts right. I can feel his love for me, but I know I shouldn't be blinded. Love shouldn't make you look like a fool.

Bakit ako nagdududa? Kasi may rason para doon. Instincts? Hindi rin dahil may mata akong nakatitig sa kanilang dalawa habang naglalakad paalis. Malayo man siya sa'kin pero alam kong masaya siya.

I can hear Ryler's loud voice, but it is nothing compared to my pounding chest and cold hands. I shook my head. My heart hurts and all of the sudden, it feels like losing my life once again. He's my strength, but for some reason, at this moment, he became the reason why I feel weak. It's like your world turning away from you, leaving you, and the only thing that is left is darkness.

"Uy!"

Just when I thought my world was starting to crumble, a concerned voice saved me. It was Alice.

"Ayos ka lang? May problema sa bahay?" She asked worriedly. I didn't answer.

It's been what? Three days? And within those days I didn't have the courage to ask him? If I really want to find the answer, why am I prolonging this? Siguro dahil magsabi man siya ng totoo o hindi masasaktan pa rin ako? Siguro dahil sa loob ko alam kong hindi na ito pagdududa lang?

Ilang beses ko siyang binibigyan ng tsansa. I told myself that if he'll call me once, it is just me overthinking – but he didn't. I told myself that if he started to care for me a little more like he did before, it will only be me who's doubting him. Pero wala siyang ginawa ni isa don. And I wonder how many chances I should give him for me to stop hoping even after the rumors circulating around me.

"Sila na ba? Akala ko si Avi tsaka - ?"

That same issue again. I looked away and pretended not to care.

Ethan, if you'll come to me and clear this out, I will forgive you.

"Manahimik nga kayo! Mga bobo lang? Kita niyong boyfriend ni Aviva yan tapos ganiyan pinag-uusapan niyo? Nasaan mga utak niyo?" Asik ng kaibigan kong nasa harap na ng mga kaklaseng nagsalita kanina.