chap. 07
"Sharina and Ethan are now officially dating."
Dinaig pa ng balitang iyon ang showbiz news sa paraan ng pagkalat nito sa loob ng university. Pilitin ko man hindi maapektuhan ay talagang hindi ko maiwasang magtanim ng galit. Not because I still have feelings for him, but because I know how their relationship started. By making me a fool.
I wonder if ever I wasn't able to notice this, will their secret relationship continue? Will I end up following him around like a stupid girl who doesn't know that she's already being cheated on?
Even after everything, I am still thankful to him. For respecting me. For letting me heal from the pain he caused me. With time.
"Ayos ka lang?" Alice asked after she ordered Ryler to buy us something. Gusto yata munang palayuin ang lalaki bago ako kausapin tungkol dito.
Tumango ako, "Oo naman."
Mataman niya muna akong tinignan na para bang binabasa niya ang nasa isip ko. I smiled. She really thinks I'm lying when I know that I'm already done with the moving on phase.
It wasn't easy. There were times where I questioned myself if I did the right thing. There were times where I felt lonely. And times where I still wanted to run back to him. Pero lahat ng iyon nawala ng parang bula nung oras na mapagtanto kong nawalan na ng silbi ang lahat ng iyon. Mas nangibabaw sa'kin ang sarili kaysa ang pagmamahal sa kanya noon. Sa kalagitnaan, napagod ako. And it was okay and valid.
"I'm happy for you, Avi. I know it wasn't easy to let go of the person you wanted to hold onto for so long. Nakakahinayang nga lang na nagtiwala rin ako kay Ethan dahil hindi naman siya tulad ng ibang lalaki. But I guess, nothing is constant. We are all bound to change, some are for the better, and it's just a shame that he changed for the worse."
Hearing my friend's words felt nice and warm. Hindi niya na pinilit alamin pa o kinwestyun ang desisyon ko, pero nandito pa rin siya. Always rooting and supporting whatever I do in my life because she fully trusts my judgment.
"How about you? With Ryler?" Tanong ko nang makita mula sa malayo ang lalaki na pabalik na ngayon sa pwesto namin. Bitbit ang isang plastic puno ng junk foods at mineral water sa isang kamay, at ang kabila ay may hawak na tatlong styrofoams, diretso agad ang tingin nito sa katabi ko.
Mukhang ginawa ngang literal na wallet ng kaibigan ko ang lalaki. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung maaawa ba ako o matatawa. Mukha namang hindi inalintana ni Ryler ang pang-aalipin ng kaibigan ko kaya siguro ay ayos lang sa kanya.
"Wala akong tiwala sa mga desisyon ko, Av. I feel like I always fail. When I'm too happy and at peace, I create decisions which most of the time I haven't really thought about carefully."
"Hindi ba lahat naman tayo ganon? Gumagawa ng desisyon, nagkakamali, at magsisisi para matuto sa huli?"
BINABASA MO ANG
When the Spring Begins (Spring Series #1)
NouvellesAviva Leigh Cervantes never seems to notice other men aside from her current boyfriend. In her eyes, there is only him. Of course, he is her first love. She was young and naive about the world of love when she met him but she knows that her young he...
