The Unnatural Disasters

2. Giving the cub scouts guns: Copycat

It's at times like this that I really need to sit back. Reflect on life: on what I've done so far, on what I need to do yet. Upon everything in my life leading up to this one moment in time.

Unfortunately, if I do that then Rupert's going to kill me instantly.

Let's backtrack a few minutes.

Me and Lazuli are the 'stop people from running in the wrong direction' team, apparently. Luda's words, not mine. In theory, we're the ones rounding up anyone inside the centre and protecting them from... something. Nobody actually knows what we're dealing with here.

And nobody can tell us, because there's nobody around here. The hall we're in is completely empty.
"
I'm not an expert," I say to Lazuli, "but aren't there meant to be... people at conventions?"

According to the oversized banner on the wall, this is the 'London Tech And Influencer Show'. And there must have been people here recently- either that, or someone likes to set up tech stalls for a hobby.

I inspect the ground.

"One soda can, two trashed leaflets, several tissues and assorted makeup wipes. There were people here, there must have been. Where'd they go?"

"Left already? That'd be the smart thing to do."

Frowning, Lazuli looks at me. He's wearing a suit: Charley gave it to him in the morning. It's a full fancy black tuxedo, complete with bandit mask and stretch-fabric.

I did not get a suit.

I would like a suit.

"Got anything in your bag of tricks that could help us?" Lazuli looks at me.

"Not really... besides, it's probably best to save energy. Probably."

Lazuli's surprisingly open and otherwise uncaring about what I do. Suppose it's difficult to judge when you yourself can move rocks without touching them.

Speaking of rocks, another one of Charley's presents for Laz is the lab-created diamond paperweight that he is currently throwing up and down in the air. He gets a diamond; I got £50 and directions to the nearest Primark.
I'm not complaining. I have a bed (theoretically, in practice the dorms that introduced me to Lazuli have been pretty scratched up by mini-spiders) along with food and water, and that's good enough for me.

But really.

Diamonds.

"So..." I turn to Lazuli. "I guess we..."
I trail off, as Lazuli put out a hand to shush me.

"Do you hear that?"

Do I hear that?

"What's the 'that' in the situation?"

"Uh- sort of like the sound a sock, filled with ball bearings, makes whilst being repeatedly whacked on the wall."

"That's a very specific metaphor..."

Wait. There is something. Rushing down the side corridor, growing closer by the second. "... and an apt one."

At first, I have no clue what I'm looking at.

"What, exactly, is that?" I ask.

"I don't know: but it looks like a 'Rupert'."
We both stare at the thing, rushing towards the long corridor towards us. It's- well.

It's marbles. Thousands of marbles; cat's eye, swirlies, and all the other little glass objects that children play with, formed into a foamy mass skittering it's way towards us. I'm not really sure what part of that he's getting 'Rupert' from, but it's better than saying 'monster from a danger mouse cartoon'.

We scatter in opposite directions, as Rupert rushes to us. I slam against a stall- Electrospecs lightning appliances™ apparently- and watch in horror as the creature splits into pieces against the marble wall.

It shudders, pausing for a moment before shedding. Marbles drop onto the floor, inching together and falling into three separate, shaking piles.

"Really, Rupert?" Lazuli yells at the newly divided creatures. "I'm very disappointed in you."

I fumble around on the table behind me, trying to find something to throw at the thing. Tablecloth, brochures... aha! I haul what is probably a very expensive theatre light at Stan.

It turns round.
In fact, two of the Stans turn around.
The light, evidently not the thing to use right now, sinks into the centre of one of them.

I catch Lazuli out of the corner of my eye, grappling with his own one, as the two of them merge and advance towards me.

"Oh," I mutter. "Crap."