The Unnatural Disasters

1, p2. All the reasons not to rust strange women: Omega

I'm not really sure why I just did that.
I decided to talk to the stranger, the woman, and then...
She had looked panicked. She'd asked me something.
"Do you want to help?"
And, well, now I'm here.
In a bathroom.
Alone.

It's fairly clean in here: blue tiling and faux-stone floor, with all the things you'd expect to find in a bathroom you've just been unwillingly teleported into. There's that- that thing, in the corner. The thing for washing.
What's the name?
Great. I've forgotten. I do that sometimes.
Just... forget.
But I need to take it.
Take a...
Shower?
Yes! Shower.

But I can't exactly follow through with my line of thought here: as this is the point where the giant spider crashes through the wall.

"A little privacy here?" I hiss.
The spider does not have the decency to look away and leave me to my shower. In fact, it does the opposite.
Rude.
It crashes its way through the room, leaving cracked porcelain in its wake. If it's path is left unaltered? Well, this place is going to be redecorated in a bad shade of red.
Goop? I whisper, grinning.
Cover me.

Try imagining being bathed in jelly. Now, imagine that jelly really, really wants to hug you. Now, imagine that said jelly also wishes to tear open the outer layers of everything around you to see what's inside.
Congratulations! You're about 1/10th of the way to understanding what Goop's cover feels like.

I have no idea where I, or my clothing, go while I do this. Theoretically I'm still in here, because if I weren't then I'd be stuck as a vaguely-guy-shaped slime forever. If I had time, I'd love to try and find out where my concept of self is, when doing this. But I don't have time.
So the fact that I'm not really a solid right now is highly convenient; as when the spider hits (and I'm pretty sure it's a robot, because in my experience real spiders aren't as big as cars and definitely not bigger) it would have otherwise crushed my rib cage.
As it stands? It tickles.

The creature backs up and tries again, confused at my lack of dead-ness. It doesn't hurt- as I've established, if you shot a bullet at me and Goop right now, it'd go straight through without dealing any damage whatsoever.
I glance round, bored. There's a mirror to my left, cracked but still usable. I look at myself in it: vaguely humanoid slime in fluorescent green, repeatedly being gored by a robotic spider. Not my best look, but, I'd like to think I make it work.

And we're at a stalemate, giant spider and I. It can't kill me. I can't free myself. We could go on like this forever, until one of us gives in. Or, well, we would have done. Because this is the point when the girl on the ceiling makes herself known.

When she's no longer an angry blur, I get to look at her properly. She's tall, taller than me, wearing a headscarf with triangles on it and a leotard. She's also standing upside down. The upside-down part is probably more important than looks, I realise that now.
Mystery ceiling girl swings something over her head- what may or may not be a charging cable- and yells something.
"Hang on in there, goop man!"
And I want to respond, but I can't, because apparently I can't talk when I'm like this. That's a fascinating discovery for another day.
So instead of speaking or otherwise thanking her, I just watch, mute.
She jumps down. Does a spiral in midair, which is impressive to say the least. Jumps on giant spider's back.
The spider notices her. It hadn't paid much attention before, all energy reserved in trying to make me go squish. However, it now notices, and does not like the new development.

She takes her charging cable and attempts to wrap it round the gap between the spider's head and the rest of its body- but giant spider's not going out without a fight. It twists and spins in the air, trying to get the girl off its back, therefore letting me go. I stumble forward.

The girl isn't going to stay on there much longer. Her cable's doing little, and spider's actions are getting wilder by the second. The girl screams, slipping off- and suddenly my hand's there. On the spider's neck.

I haven't moved: but what I can only call my arm has been stretched unnaturally, stuck to the joint of the head.
Neat.
"Well?" Mystery girl yells. She's off the spider now, pushing herself up off the floor. "You going to do something? or is your hand really that interesting."
She's right. The spider moves, but my hand is stuck fast: I need to do something, or else it's going to kill us for sure.
Please? Goop asks. It knows what to do, I realise.
Sure, buddy.
Goop reaches in further into the joint. It fills all the gaps between the fasteners- it's probably pretty bad planning to have a giant gap between robot spider's head and body, but I'm not complaining.
Goop expands.

The robot creaks and groans. Its head lulls forward, body slumping as it crashes to the floor. For a moment, it seems surreal- have I really just decapitated a giant robot spider?
It feels like success for a full fifteen seconds. I look round at mystery girl: she's staring behind me, with an expression that could be shock or fear or any number of things.
So, I look round at what she's looking at.
Oh.
Crap.