KiriBaku | Just Another Camp

Chapter 17

Bakugo

Three days.

I hadn't slept hardly a wink. Pacing and crying became my new pass time. Showers became the time not to wash myself, but to think about how worthless I was. Nights were full of numbness and cutting as I desperately tried to fill myself with some sort of feeling just to remind myself that I was real.

My alarm went off bright and early at 6:00, but I was already awake. I laid there staring at the ceiling for quite some time until I gathered the strength to pull myself out of bed.

I went to the bathroom and got a glass of water, preparing myself to face the world yet again.

It was exhausting... Waking up every morning, knowing you have to fake it to make it. 

Maybe it would be better if I just died...

I drank the water from the cup and avoided my gaze in the mirror as I went back to the room to get dressed.

I glanced over at Kirishima's side of the room, half expecting the red-head to be sitting there on his phone. 

But he wasn't there.

I numbly put on my clothes and rubbed my eyes with a yawn. Just four more days. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so empty anymore.

I stepped out of my cabin and into the broad daylight, getting ready for my daily jog around the pond. To my surprise, my coach was sitting on the porch of his cabin, and when he saw me, he beckoned me over.

Aw, sh**, what did I do now...? I thought glumly, trudging over to the older man.

I walked up the steps and stood next to him. His eyebrows furrowed; I couldn't tell if it was in anger or out of worry.

"Listen, son, I don't know what's been going on with you," he started. "But you need to pull yourself together. The boys need someone to look up to. As their leader, you're not doing too hot of a job."

I was going to lash out but I held my tongue. I didn't need to waste my energy on something so pointless.

"Get some sleep and eat a proper meal for once, kid," he said, quieter. "Don't think I don't notice what's going on."

"Yes, sir," I said, turning to leave.

As I started going down the steps, my legs began to feel numb and my vision went blurry. 

No, not now... wake up, idiot...!

Nevertheless, my eyes fluttered shut, and I drifted off into unconsciousness.

***

...He passed out, I don't know why though...

...Is he okay...?

...What's wrong with him...?

...What are these cuts on his hips...?

...Sir, are you awake...?

I drifted in and out of consciousness, hearing only little bits and pieces of conversation. I remember waking up staring at a metal ceiling only to go unconscious again.

This was normal. It happened every time I didn't eat for a while. My body would start to shut down, causing me to promptly pass out and stay unconscious for a while until I managed to wake up and eat something.

This had happened two times already at camp. Thankfully, those two times I was in my cabin. Unfortunately, I passed out in front of my coach this time.