Jemily One Shots

Falling...

JJ's POV

We were chasing the unsub through an alleyway behind a bar. He was a 16 year old boy with mommy issues. The team split up to cover more ground. I managed to corner him, but before I had the chance to arrest him he pulled out a knife, I took the shot, he was dead before he hit the ground. I hated cases like these, with children. I'm frozen in my steps until I hear voices through my earpiece.
"JJ? Jennifer? Are you alright? Did you get the unsub? We heard shots" Everybody started firing questions I could barely hear myself think.
"U-uh Yeah, I-I had to shoot h-him. H-he's gone" I could feel myself about to cry but I held it in so I wouldn't look weak.

Emily could tell that something was wrong, but she knew not to pressure me until we were in private or at home. Over the last couple of months I've grown closer and caught myself falling for Emily more. I haven't told her yet but I feel like I'm going to break up soon.

We get home and I go straight to our room, avoiding Em. Henry's staying at Aarons sister's place with Jack for the night so it's just us tonight.
"JJ we will-" She was interrupted by her phone ringing.

Emily's POV
"Hey Emily, uh we got the wrong guy, JJ shot a random kid who felt targeted and ran..." FUCK.
"Ok. Thanks Reid" I eye JJ as I'm talking to Reid, she can tell something is wrong.
"What was that about Em?" She questions.
"Huh? Oh nothing important, just a missing file" I divert the conversation quickly. Too quickly, I think she noticed. I never lie to JJ but this would destroy her.
"Emily Prentiss, do not lie to me! What the hell is going on!" I don't look her in the eyes, she might turn me to stone.
"Emily! Talk to me!" She yelled.
"Umm... we got t-the wrong guy. You shot an innocent man... The bureau understands the situation and is not questioning your status with the BAU" I slowly bring my eyes up to her.
"W-what? Oh-oh my god" She starts hyperventilating, she's having a panic attack.
"Ok ok ok, come here. Sit down and put your head between your knees" She does as I say. I hold her, rubbing her back as she calms down, controlling her breathing. She was still crying, but this was better than having a panic attack so I took it as a good sign.

"JJ look at me. This is not your fault. You saw the man we were looking for and protected yourself against him. Nobody could have known he was carrying a weapon. It wasn't in the profile for him to be paranoid" I hug her tightly, knowing this is what she needs right now. JJ is not the type of person who should be alone in situations like these. Hell, who ever gets in this situation? What JJ needs is someone who will be there for her to talk to and care for her. It takes time but she opens up more everyday and talks to me about these things.

Reid texted me, letting me know Penelope narrowed it down to the right guy who Reid and Tara arrested, he later confessed and the case was closed. The unsub is never the worst part about the case, it's the permanent dent he leaves on the people and place that makes it worse. These people will forever remember the person who completely ruined their lives.

I focus back in on JJ who is now asleep in my lap, presumably from exhaustion. I slowly pick her up, bridal style, and carry her to the bed, gently laying her down and pulling off her shoes. This is definitely a discussion for tomorrow so I climb in bed with her and fall asleep to the warmth of my favorite person beside me.

*The next morning*

I wake up before JJ, thank god. She needs the rest after the stress she put herself through last night. I quietly do my morning routine and then start breakfast, which is just toast and fruit because we all know that I can't cook for shit. I'm plating the food when I see JJ walk into the kitchen, to put it in nice words... She looks rough. I pull her towards me and give her a hug, hoping she won't break down before she eats.

We're picking up Henry around noon from Hotch's, it's Saturday so we'll probably just chill around the house and maybe go to the park. I bring my attention back to JJ when she pulls away from the hug, I immediately miss her touch... damn I'm a simp.
"How are you feeling?" I whisper because his face is still close to mine.
"I don't know," she says and walks away. She didn't take her food, guess she lost her appetite, probably from stress or anxiety.

I want JJ to talk to someone but this girl HATES therapist. I'm hoping that she will talk to me so we don't have to resort to a therapist, but I will make her go if that's what it takes. I'm gonna give her a bit to register what's happening before I start asking her to talk and open up to me.

It's about noon and I need to get Henry, I walk into the bedroom to tell JJ, she's laying on the bed, fetal position, just staring at the wall. I softly walk over to her, crouching down to her level so she's looking at me. I stroke her hair as I talk to her,
"Hey love, I gotta go pick up Henry. Are you ok alone for 15 minutes?" I talk softly so she knows I'm on her side.
"Ok" is all she says. I kiss her forehead and leave to pick up Henry. I wish he could stay with Hotch for a little longer but he's going on vacation so I have to juggle an energetic kid with a depressed mom.

"Hi monkey!" I say when I pick Henry up. I say bye to Hotch and drive Henry and I home.
"Hey bubs?" I say hesitantly.
"Yeah mama?" he answers back.
"Mommy is really sad today so how about we just stay in and watch a bunch of movies ok?"
"Ok! Why is mommy sad? Did she get a boo boo?" he asks. What do I say now? 'Well your mother shot and killed an innocent 16 year old and is mentally and emotionally damaged right now' Yeah I'm not saying that.
"No, sometimes adults' brains get tired and they get sad for a couple of days but with rest and lots of hugs, their brains start to wake up" I hope I explained depression well enough for a 4 year old.
"Oh, ok!" Success.

The rest of the day we all just watched movies in our bedroom. I made JJ cuddle with me so she could have some physical contact, seeing that it's her love language, and make her feel loved. Henry tried to hug her but JJ didn't really reciprocate it, Henry didn't notice though, he was just set on picking the movie.

*A week later*

JJ's doing better, I made her stay home from work and she didn't fight it that much which is good. She's verbal again so that's a plus, even though it's only 2-3 small conversations a day it's still growth. I made Rossi the temporary Unit Chief so I could stay home with Jennifer and help her. I want her to go talk to someone, seeing she isn't talking much to me. I don't want her to wither away into a deep hole of depression like I've done before... not good by the way.

She was laying on the couch today, better than the bed. I crouch in front of her. Blocking her view of the TV. She light pushes my shoulder,
"You're in my way" she muttered.
"Jennifer, I want you to talk to someone. I care about you too much to watch you wither away"
"I'll be fine, now move your head" I grab the remote and turn the TV off so she can focus solely on me.
"Jay, you need to see someone, I'm worried about you. If not for me then for your son. All I'm asking is for 2 visits and if you don't like it then you never have to go again. I promise" She looks into my eyes for what feels like the first time in forever and mumbles,
"Fine, but I'm telling you, it won't help. It never does..."

*A week later - After therapy*
I'm not the one for 'I told you so's' but JJ told me so. Therapy is going horribly and she refuses to go anymore, we're currently arguing with each other over the topic. Don't worry Henry is at Penelope's house, so no parents fighting trauma.
"JJ please! You clearly are not getting better!"
"Emily, I will not go! It makes me feel worse and I don't like it!" she yells.
"JJ you need this!" I yell back.
"Why do you even care? I'm fine!"
"Because I'm in love with you!" oops, that wasn't meant to come out. JJ goes quiet and steps closer to me.
"What?"