Jemily One Shots

The Truth

Credit goes to @Rxbarratt
This is set before JJ and Emily get together, JJ doesn't know Emily is intersex.

Emily's POV
It was your average boring ass day at the BAU. I've been in the BAU for a comfortable amount of time now (about a year). The team knows the basics about me, nothing too much. They know I'm stubborn, my favorite color is black, they THINK I have a boyfriend (Sergio), and they know I'm stupid rich. However, nobody knows about my aPeNdEnDegE. It's none of their business, just like everything else about me.

I'm sitting at my desk when Ms.Unicorn approaches me,
"Hi my dark angel, we should have a girls night at your house this week! Also you can't say no because I told JJ it's already planned for tonight at your house at 7" She spits out before I can even protest. This bitch set me up,
"Uhhh o-ok" well shit.

*At Emily's Place*
I think my apartment is clean. I don't own enough things to make it dirty, let's just say I'm a 'I only own 2 plates and 3 forks type of person' I like keeping it simple. It's 6:30, I just finished tidying up and giving Sergio extra cuddles so he doesn't kill himself with the girls being over, shit, I would. I change into some Nike sweat shorts and a sweat shirt before I hear a knock at the door. Well, here goes nothing.

"Hi guys, uhh come on in" Their eyes go wide as they look around. Ok my apartment was kinda big, but not that big.
"Oh my god Em, you could have told us that you are rich rich, not just rich." JJ says still wide eyed.
"I-I guess. Oh uh are you guys allergic to cats?"
"No, I love fur babies!"
"No, why?"
"Ok, haha that 'man' that y'all think I'm 'involved' with, its my cat Sergio" I explain
"Oooo I wanna see the handsome boy!!" This is going better than I thought.

We settled down to watch a couple of movies and drink some wine. Penelope had to leave around movie 2, something about a big comic-on event tomorrow morning that she couldn't miss. JJ and I weren't even watching the movie anymore, we were sitting on the couch together talking.

JJ sets her wine down and faces me,
"Why don't we know much about you Emily?"
"Uhh, I don't really have much to share"
"Oh, come on. Ok i'll share something and then you share something. Ok uhh, I'm bisexual. Your turn" She grabs her wine and takes a sip.
YES YES YES I HAVE A CHANCE
"Um ok, I'm a lesbian" I mutter
"See you're doing great, hehe Garcia owes me $20. Ok, uhh I have a tattoo on my back. It's the roman numerals of my sister's birthday" She has a sister? Huh ok.
"Ok, I have a couple of tattoos on my arms and torso" I explain as I grab us more wine, this is gonna be a long night. We're both a little tipsy so what harm can a couple of common facts about each other do?

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours haha'' Well this just turned south, I don't have a shirt on under my hoodie.
"I-I guess, you go first" Ok just think about naked grandmas and I wont get hard. She pulls off her shirt, damn this woman is capital A  Attractive. NAKED GRANDMA. She wasn't lying, it's was her sister's birthday.
"Ok your turn" JJ grins. I pull off my shirt and am met with wide eyes. Did I forget to mention that I have never worn short sleeves around them, well I haven't. I just get cold easily, don't bully me.
"Oh my god. You said a little, not 40. And you could have told me that you have ABS, why would you ever hide your gorgeous body." I start putting my hoodie back on,
"No no, keep it off, you need to make up for all the time you didn't show off your perfect abs or tattoos" uhh
"Uhh, o-ok"

"Ok my turn. We're getting more personal now. Um, my parents don't talk to me for multiple reasons. I haven't spoken to them in 4 years" Well this just got deep.
"Can I ask why?" ok I'm only stalling a little bit.
"They're homophobic and blame me for my sisters suicide" She downs the rest of her wine. So it's one of those nights,
"I'm sorry they're assholes" I say.
"Ok, away from all the sad shit, it's your turn"
"Um, I have a secret that only 3 people on this Earth know. My parents and my first girlfriend" Oh fuck me, why would I bring this up. Mental note, punch myself later. I don't even know why I said 'first' girlfriend, she was my only girlfriend that I've had sex with.
"Well now I need to know," JJ says. Nope nope nope.
"You don't want to know, you'll never look at me like I am human again" her eyes go wide,
"NO NO I didn't do anything illegal, I didn't murder anyone" she calms down.
"Well whether you tell me or not, I will always look at you the same" She smiles
"No you won't"
"Yes I will"
"No"
"Yes"
"No"
"Yes-"

"I have a penis!" I finally got out. SHIT. Mental note, kill your self later. JJ starts laughing.
"What?"
"Y-you *laugh* think that because you have a dick I will look you are differently *laugh*"
"JJ this isn't funny" I say annoyed,
"Ok I only have a few questions"
"Oh god" I mutter
"Are you trans?"
"No, genetic disorder" I need more wine
"Is it fully functional?"
"Yes" I need some vodka now
"How big is it hehe" She starts laughing again
"I'm not answering that" not a fucking chance.
"Aw come on. OO have you named it? I dated a guy once who named his sorry ass 3 incher little Ricky"
"What? No. ok we're changing the subject, it's your turn to say something about you"
"Ok ok geez. I've never had an orgasm" Girl is missing out
"Really? Don't you have a whole kid? You were willing to have a kid with a man that can't even make you cum?" Girl needs better standards
"1, Henry was an accident, if you ever tell him that I will murder you, and 2, that is one of the reasons we are divorced" She explain, yawning after.
"Well I think this conversation has come to an end, and you are in no state to drive so you can stay the night" I get up to put our wine glasses away, putting my hoodie back on in the process,
"Hey I liked your killer abs"

I help JJ get settles in my guest bedroom, as i'm leaving she calls me back,
"Hey Em?" she mumbles
"Yeah Jay?"
"I think your penis is awesome and you shouldn't be ashamed" she explains as she closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep.
"Uh thanks JJ, goodnight"
"Goodnight"

Emily's Apartment and what I think her tattoos would look like (this is also what I think her chest would look like after top surgery but in this chapter she hasn't had the operation yet)

Let me know what y'all thought of this chapter, and feel free to leave any suggestions for further chapters. Have a good day!