The Summer I Met Her (GirlxGirl)

18- Diggin' Up Bones

SORRY COLLEGE HAS KEPT ME BUSY AND I FORGOT

Hours later I was still shaken. My mind never wandered far from what happened as I tried to go on with my day. I was visibly distracted no matter what I did, so when my dad asked what was up I just said me and Jaycee had a fight.

I found my phone where I left it on the couch. I put the device on Do Not Disturb. I didn't want to be alerted to any of her many calls or texts.

Our barn was tall, and attached to the farmhouse, so it all looked like one two story house. In reality, the garage was massive enough to fit a loader, two cars, a UTV (whom we simply called the gator), an ATV, and a lot of different tools for different things. My grandma also used it for storage, so we had a lot of dusty blue tubs sitting around, rocking chairs, old speakers, whatever else she didn't want to get rid of. The washing machine also sat in the corner closest to the door of the house.

A text from my dad. Jaycee called. Told her you were at the store and would be back in a bit.

I felt really, really sick to my stomach reading that name.

My dad wasn't wrong, I did go into town, but came back empty handed. Retail therapy proved to be of no use.

An old, teal blue Chevy pick up was parked in our gravel driveway when I came up. The shade was more of a powder blue the way the sun had faded its colors. I didn't recognize it, so I opted not to go in the house or the front porch. Someone my dad knows must be over. A friend of my grandma's, maybe. Either way, the barn was likely safe, so I entered the garage with caution.

I spotted one of my grandmother's old trunks. Getting to my knees, I unlocked it, the lid creaking open and releasing a good amount of dust. I started rummaging through family documents to distract myself.

"Hey."

I was surprised to hear her voice behind me. Then the truck in the driveway clicked. I don't know who else I expected it to be. I didn't turn around, I just kept digging.

"Your clothes." She said, placing my washed and folded outfit on the dryer. Still, I kept searching. "You don't have to say anything. But all I ask is that you at least hear me.

"I know I made you uncomfortable. I get it, what I asked freaked you out. Just know that was never my intention. I jumped to conclusions, but I still care about you and I don't want my mistake to mess up our friendship."

I swallowed hard.

"I really, really like you Fianna. I want us to be able to move past this. You don't have to talk to me now if you don't want to. Or soon for that matter. I just want to at least talk."

I opened my mouth to speak. Nothing came.

"So uh," I heard her boots shuffle against the concrete. "Let me know when you're ready."

The old truck started. I heard it's wheels back out of the driveway, and the sound of a car getting further and further away.

This time I couldn't swallow back my emotions, and I allowed myself to cry.

<>

No matter what I tried I couldn't paint my goddamn leg. Even with the peaceful surroundings of butterflies and flowers. It was at least ninety degrees out, and my hand shivered like it was below freezing. My anger bottled up, and I flung my paintbrush into the fields.

The lone red flower on my thigh looked lonely. Ugly. Depressing. He looked the way I felt inside.

I saw my phone sitting nearby on the blanket. I tapped the screen, looking for the time, and found myself opening Jaycee's previously ignored texts.

I was surprised to see my own fingers move across the keyboard.

My phone instantly started ringing. My hands quivered as they moved to answer the call. I put her on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Jaycee's voice breathed on the other end.

Hearing her voice on the phone for the first time felt slightly jarring.

"So," I scratched my forehead. "You said a lot back there. I feel bad for letting you leave without a reply. So now it's my turn to talk." I swallowed and took a deep breath to fight the nausea.

"To start off, I like you a lot too. And I want you to know I'm not mad at you. I don't want you to think I hate you or think you're weird or predatory or anything like that, because I don't. I was just scared, so I bolted. If you were a guy I would've done the same thing."

My teeth started chattering. I clenched my jaw tight as if physically biting down my nerves would keep them at bay.

I continued. "This is all so new to me, so I didn't know how to act. You mean... a lot to me. It's different for you than any other friend. You make me confused and conflicted and I don't know what to feel." I hugged myself. "I do want to stay friends, there's no question about that. But you mean more to me than any other friend does. I don't understand it. I don't even know what I'm saying."

I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. What am I saying here?

"But... I'd be lying if I said I have no feelings for you. I don't know what that means." I shook my head at myself. "I guess what I'm saying is... I need to take things slow. Really slow. You'd have to bear with me and be... patient I guess."

The call continued on without so much as a noise on the other end.

I anxiously chewed on my acrylics. "Jay?"

I waited, staring at the phone.

"I can do slow."

I let out a sigh of relief and smiled toward the sky.