The Summer I Met Her (GirlxGirl)

23- It Must Be Love

Everything feels so weird. But the best kind of weird to ever exist.

I felt like such an idiot, acting like the stereotypical image of a teenager in love. But I couldn't help it- I felt like I was always floating, and I wasn't coming down soon.

I'm sure my family noticed how unusually giddy I was being, considering my default mood for a long time was just... depression. Doing the bare minimum, only polite when necessary. But the rest of the week after slushie night, I felt like a person again.

All week we texted while apart. Mostly me, Jaycee being busy with little time to hold a long conversation. I didn't mind, I knew she'd get back to me when she could, so I sent her a variety of tweets and memes. In return, Jace sent me so many songs. That was her thing. She'd listen to music when she worked, through AirPods or a speaker, and then send whatever she decided was good enough for me to hear.

I loved it. So far I had three new songs on my playlist: It Must Be Love, When, and Up! Two Shania songs of course- they reminded me the most of her.

Then came Sunday. And for over an hour the pastor droned on and on about how unholy the world is, how one should "guard your heart" from the influences of like...Disney? And Cardi B? Because they're indoctrinating our kids, of course. It's how the homosexuals get to them.

I don't know. I never liked religion and hate any reminder of it even more. I decided a long time ago that if a god was really out there, and that he was cruel enough to ignore my prayers and slowly take a incapacitated mother from a ten and seven year old, I wanted no part of him.

But my dad never lost his faith. So I keep my mouth shut.

Church in Oklahoma is exactly how you'd expect it to be. You're weird if you don't go. It being a small town, everyone knows if you don't too. It's a small church with a lot of folks, because there's several little ones literally everywhere in the Bible Belt. They're like glitter- absolutely everywhere. You can't drive anywhere for two minutes without seeing at least three. People are wearing a weird mix of casual-dressy outfits; plenty of jeans to go around. Cowboy hats materialize on all the men the second you step outside. (Minus my dad. Every other day of the week, he's a baseball hat guy).

After the service I stood with my family outside the little building, politely engaging in small talk with most of Jaycee's family (yes, even her dad was there, as put together as an alcoholic could be). Shawn was nowhere to be seen. My sister was also missing, likely with him or some snobby church girls her age.

I alternated between listening to the conversation and sneaking subtle glances at Jay.

She looked great. I hadn't seen her since last Wednesday. I wasn't sure if it was her outfit or if I was just head over heels, but either way I was super distracted. She was wearing just a light blue and white striped button-up and white pants. Nothing extraordinary.

Except for the undone top two buttons on her loosened collar. I bet the elderly didn't appreciate that. She can't be wearing a sports bra with that, it's too low cut...

I wondered if I could somehow find out the answer, maybe go home with her afterwards, go up to her room and-

Someone tapped me on the shoulder from behind. I jumped out of my skin, ripped back into the present.

I turned around. There was Shawn.

The boy barely looked at me, eyes shifting. "Hey. Can I ask you a question in private?"

Oh god. I'm going to throw up.

He had to know something about us. What other reason would he need to speak to me alone?