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crystal clear insanity

Random
Poems that i write in my spare time. a way to fight the insanity in my head read if you wish. thanks.
#depression #poems #poetry #sad #stuff #words
Static

48 3 2
by kuehlchick
by kuehlchick
                                    
                                              Choas
                          All I hear is static
                          Static fills my ears

                          Fills my mind
                          I hear nothing but I hear everything
                          Oxymorons fill my ears
                          Silent noise
                          It doesn't seem silent
                          I hear screams in the static 
                          Ear piercing screams inside my head
                          Covering my ears makes it louder
                          The static in my mind rebels
                          Every time I try to ignore it, it gets louder
                          Like the little sister begging for attention
                          Nagging in my ears
                          Psssssshhhhhtttt
                          The monotone noise that somehow changes pitch
                          It changes ever so slightly
                          Did the noise change?
                          Who the hell knows.
                          Its like staring at broken TV 
                          "White noise"
                          Did the picture change?
                          Do the black and white blobs ever change?
                          Who the hell knows
                          People swear I'm not crazy
                          But they don't hear the static
                          With hands that punch me
                          With a voice that whispers just above the white noise
                          "You're nothing"
                          "No one cares"
                          "You're pathetic"
                          "Go away"
                          It was all a whisper
                          Just a figment of my imagination
                          But the words were just above the static
                          They appear when I close my eyes.
                          Big Blocky Letters
                          "YOU'RE NOTHING"
                          Floating just above the broken screen
                          Everything is broken
                          My broken eyes see into my broken soul
                          Just watching the broken screen wit static showing the shattered words of my shattered mind.
                          Until it yelled.
                          "DIE ALREADY"
                          I gave in
                          But I failed
                          Now the static is gone
                          Stupid little pills
                          Acting like a radar
                          Blocking out the static
                          But my mind is silent
                          No static
                          No TV
                          No thoughts
                          And still no happiness
                          But there was a small nagging
                          It wanted rebellion
                          To be dangerous
                          I listened
                          It wanted the static back
                          I started to miss it
                          I threw them away
                          The static crawled back weakly
                          I welcomed it with open arms
                          Cradling it
                          Nursing it
                          The static is as loud as ever
                          Being the bully I forgot it was.
                          But I still received it all
                          Blow after blow
                          Ow I cry weakly
                          Oww
                          I tried to flee
                          I think it worked
                          The static is gone
                          But I'm not lonely this time
                          Six months later and its back
                          I keep pushing it away
                          But I can't punch static
                          It screams and howls 
                          Make it stop
                          It keeps coming back
                          It saps my energy
                          I can't keep pushing it away
                          I can't fight static
                          Its a battle that I may lose
                          It seems pointless
                          How could I possibly fight a noise
                          A droning monotone noise
                          I'm surrounded on all four sides 
                          By a noise
                          My mind is static now.