crystal clear insanity

Not me

What would I be, if not me.
I'm lost in my world.
With no compass to guide
No map to see
I feel my sanity fleeing
My one friend til the end
God would save me.
Wouldn't he?
I've lost my faith in you and humanity.
Because I'm simply not you
But I'm not me.
Pills in my head
Cuts on my skin
I feel myself dying.
The girl you knew died
And had risen again
There's no one here could can stop me from dying once more
My thoughts are not gone
My blood on the floor
My tears carving there way down
To the end of the line
I would end it all.
But its not my call.
Because I'm simply not me.
Yes I'm McKenzie.
That's my name
But who am I?
To me I'm ugly and a monster
To you I'm not worth your time
To others I'm wonderful.
But maybe that's pity
I'm hiding my scars but it still seeps through.
Is it hard to believe I still love you?
Not like that of course
My heart betrayed me so you'll never be more than a memory
You try to get close, on those rare occasions
Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm in different places
Maybe I'm sleeping
I could be crying
Cutting is a possibility too.
Im sorry for all my troubles and mistakes, but I'm not me.
But i'm just not you.