retrospective || riley hayes life's riddles fic

prototype 3?

tw // reference to suicide, lightly implied self-harm
riley pov
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     Okay. I have to explain myself. So, at first I was only putting up with them because I didn't want to get bullied, but (by no fault of mine) now I'm kinda actually friends with them. Just a little bit, I'm not like their best friend or something. I just.. share a dorm with one of them, spend the mornings with them, spend my free period with them, spend my lunchtime with them and hang out with them after school... Okay, I'm sorry. But they aren't even that bad, not really. They're fun to hang out with! 

     It's been two weeks since I started going to this school. I've settled in pretty well, I'd say. I have two good friends and I'm already the top graded student.

    "Ughh, finallyyy," Andre groaned. Andre's my dormmate, which is cool. We're keeping the same dorms next year, so at least I won't have to deal with settling in with another person when we come back. I was kinda scared of him at first, but now me and him get along pretty well. "Honestly, I'm kinda sad it's the last day," I admitted. 
"God, you're such a nerd, why am I friends with you?" He said with a grin.
"Because someone has to balance out the one brain cell you and Forrest share," I hummed back, stuffing the last of my shirts into my suitcase. "You should pack." Andre shrugged. He was sitting on the arm of the couch, phone in hand. 

    "I'll do it later. Yo, wanna hang out over the summer some time?" He offered. I closed my suitcase. "Yeah, sure. Do you live near here?"
He nodded, "I don't have your phone number, do I?" 
"You should do, I thought I gave you it already." 

    The bell rang loudly, signalling we were already running late. "Ah, I didn't realise this would take so long," I gasped, "c'mon!" He lazily slid off the arm, dragging after me. 

    "Ayup," Forrest greeted tiredly. Both of them weren't really morning people, not that I was particularly fond of mornings either. We were lucky to share most classes together, especially because of the really low student number. Boo, the brunette girl from my first day (who turned out to be super close with Octavia, which was kind of a disaster because now they both hate me), was sitting in front of us again. She glared at me as I walked past like she had every day for the past two weeks. 

    "Stop staring at Riley, your girlfriend will get jealous," Andre jeered. Boo rolled her eyes and looked away. Me and Andre took our seats, instantly engaging in conversation with Forrest. "Doing anything over the summer?" Forrest asked me. I shook my head. "Nothing that I know of." He smiled. His glasses were ever so slightly falling down his nose. Andre and Forrest would probably think I'm disgusting if they knew, but sometimes I can't help but think that Forrest is cute. Like appearance-wise. "Woo, Riley will get to meet out-of-school Forrest!" 
"I'm not that different out of school!" Forrest snapped. 
"Psh, yes you are, you dumb softie." Oh? This is new information to me. 

    "Whereabouts do you live Riley?" Wow, Forrest was really full of questions today. "Near the church, the one just a few blocks from here." 
"Oh, yeah, I'm pretty close to there too. We can meet up there."
Oh no. I regret bringing the church up now. No, no, no - I'm moving on from Aiden. I'm a new Riley now. I have new friends, I'm not thinking about Aiden, I'm not missing Aiden, I'm not thinking about him. I'm not thinking about running around the graveyard behind the church with him, I'm not thinking about hanging out with him, I'm not thinking about hanging, I'm not thinking about his face, I'm not thinking about our last sleep-over.

    "What? What did you do?" Aiden awkwardly shuffled around in the doorway, clearly reluctant to tell me. "You can come in." He stepped a few feet into the room, still staying pretty far away. "Promise you won't get mad at me?" A tear streamed down his cheek. "Of course I won't. What'd you do?" He pulled up his sleeve. I felt like I was going to throw up. 

      "Why's the day going so slow?" Forrest groaned, hitting the back of his head against the fence. We sat up on the roof, just me and Forrest. Andre was having detention, so it was just the two of us for lunch today. "It's not that bad," I chuckled. Forrest shoved some food in his mouth. 
"So, what was your old school like?" Is what I think he said to me next. His mouth was full of food so I'm not entirely sure. "My old school? Oh. It was okay. I.. Didn't really like the people there." 

    "Aww, did little Riley get bullied?" He teased, his mouth fortunately no longer full of food. "You shouldn't joke about that- I mean, you're not the one who should be," I glared at him. "Chill, just a joke," he laughed. I don't hear him laugh a lot, but it's nice when I do. His laughs sound so affectionate and warm. "And I wasn't bullied - I was the head of the school council," I bragged - bragging didn't really feel natural to do, but I'd kind of picked it up from Andre and Forrest. It was kinda scary how quickly I was picking stuff up from the two of them. The other day I'd just randomly insulted Octavia as I walked past her. It felt so weird, I'd just done it without thinking about it. Andre and Forrest had seemed surprised when I did, but then they were happy and told me it was good. I didn't think I was one to be easily influenced, so this is all a bit odd.
"You're such a nerd." 
"Why does everyone keep saying that," I whined theatrically, purposely trying to make the way I talk less boring - I'd been doing that a lot recently too. 
"Hmm.. you used to be in a school council, you're THE top student after being here for like two weeks, you like making it to class on time, you actually care about the library... I wonder why people think you're a nerd? I have no idea!"
"No need to be jealous, Forrest." He gave me a 'fuck you' kind of look then returned to his food again. 

     His hair fell over his face as he focused on his food. I really need to stop thinking about Forrest in weird ways. I swear to god, if they were able to read my thoughts, they'd have long ditched me by now. 

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word count: 1132