retrospective || riley hayes life's riddles fic

Riley Hayes' guide to self-redemption (2/2)

feedback is appreciated pls give feedback i beg 

anyway enjoy 
riley pov
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"You were never an asshole to me," he looked at me. His expression was strange. It was a tight chest, a slightly agape mouth, a swirling mind, it was butterflies. I matched his stare. I was a tight chest. I was a slightly agape mouth. I was a swirling mind, I was butterflies. It was a summer's night - the shared feeling, not the season or time. "Never. Not once. You've always been so nice to me. If anything I should be the one apologising to you. I dragged you into this sad pathetic shit."
"It might be sad but I wouldn't say pathetic."
"You're just too nice to accept I might be pathetic," he said.

Step two: tell Forrest the truth

"I love you."

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    The door slammed open. Andre stormed in, walking right past us and sitting at the small table. Forrest didn't even react to Andre's entrance; he continued staring at me, his eyes wide with shock. I got up, walking over to Andre. I sat opposite him. "Andre, hi." 
He acknowledged my existence with a nod. 
I whispered, "are you going to talk to Forrest?" 
He shrugged guiltily. "Maybe." 
"You.. Were going to hurt him again." 
He finally looked up at me. "Did he tell you?" 
"No. It's pretty obvious," I crossed my arms and leaned back. 

I closed my eyes, my neck craned back. I was trying to get the right words. However, before I could actually get what could have been a really good inspirational speech, Forrest walked over to us.
"I'm sorry." I almost had a heart attack. My fear vanished when I realised it was directed towards Andre. 
Andre gave him a sceptical look. "Are you actually? Do you mean that?" 
Maybe telling Forrest was a bad idea. It's bad to keep it secret, but maybe it was dumb. Maybe it was bad timing. Maybe he has too much going on right now, that I shouldn't have. 
"Yes..," Forrest half-whispered. He very obviously avoided looking at me. Well shit. He can't even look at me. 

Every action Forrest had made since I met him had screamed "I am homophobic". Even his words to convince me that it was all for a laugh, that it wasn't actually hatred, had flared up red flags in my mind. 

Riley Hayes' guide to self-redemption;
(in three simple steps) 

1. Apologise (2/4 COMPLETE)

2. Tell the truth (1/1 COMPLETE) 

3. Get your shit together (0/1 COMPLETE) 

The last one might need some work still. 

"I'll think about it. Okay?" Andre said reluctantly. Forrest forcefully smiled. "Okay." He clearly wasn't satisfied with that. Andre swung off the seat. "I'll see you later," he sighed. Forrest's hopes seemed to rise a little bit at that, but I suspect that it was probably meant towards me. Andre waved curtly, letting the door slam shut behind him. 

We stood/sat in silence. 

"What?" Forrest asked me. Bewilderment filled his voice, "I mean---I--- I guess that makes sense? No- But.." 
"I love you. That's all I can say. There's nothing more to it." 
"How long have you known?" 
"That I like you?" 
"Boys." 
"Do you really still care about that?" 
"No. I-- I want to know how rude I was to you." 
"You didn't seem to worry about how rude you were to Andre when you outed him like that." 
"I already apologised for that.." 
"I know, sorry." 

"I've got to get to class. I'll see you later, yeah?" I said, smiling sadly. He didn't respond. His look.. wasn't.. bad. It was more confused. He didn't look disgusted. Or angry. He silently wrapped his arms around me, hugging me again. I must be really good at hugging people. He didn't budge, he just melted into the warmth. I hummed quietly to myself, putting my chin on top of his head. "We have the same class," he reminded me.
"Are you fit to go now? Any pain?" I tipped his head up to face me; there was some very faint bruising under his eye. Punch to the face. Likely while on the ground.
"A bit. But I'll be okay." 
"Can I test something?" I asked. He nodded hesitantly. I brushed my finger very carefully over the bruise. "Does that hurt?" 
"No." 
"Okay, good. I would've felt so bad if it did." 
He laughed. I like his laughs. They're very warm. And affectionate. And nice. Nice as in nice to listen to.