retrospective || riley hayes life's riddles fic

mother-nature

cw. there is a slur within the literal first sentence. 
(add. homophobia/sex-reference) 

I've watched both live-action smurfs movies today I don't think I'm ok 
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"What kinda faggotry do we have here?" I bit the inside of my mouth as he spoke. I wanted to not be mad at him so badly - he gave me a flimsy excuse and I wanted to believe it. But he wasn't convincing. He was such a contradiction; everything about Forrest was contradicting. It didn't make sense. Nor did the strange tugging feeling I felt whenever I was around him, whenever he smiled, whenever he was nice.

Andre flinched back, lightly shoving the new kid away from him. He looked almost scared for a split second; of course he would be scared to some degree, his extremely homophohic-"seeming" friend had kinda just pounced up on him and announced he was a f,,, you know. But it was a different kind of fear. A familiar one (to him), almost.

"You still like guys, don't you?" Forrest dropped the bomb. He glanced over at me as if he expected me to be surprised. I didn't react at all, instead glared at Forrest.

Less than 20 minutes ago we had been sitting together in the small park, at the bottom of a slide.

His fingers had absently interlocked with mine. "I didn't even get a chance to speak to Andre."
"How come?" I asked, only half paying attention - I was distracted by the thick non-hetero tension in each and every point of physical contact.

"He left to go to the bathroom near the start of class, then the new guy - Dylan - followed after him. Neither of 'em came back."
I decided to listen.
"They didn't come back? It's normal for Andre to skip, but--"
"I knew you'd get it! They're like one hundred percent fucking."
"Wh,, I wasn't going to say that."

"What other explanation do you have then?"
"Literally anything else but that."
Forrest crossed his arms, leaning back, "Okay." He seemed to be trying to think of something to say; I helped him out by filling the void. "Plus, they've only known each other for two days. You're insane."
"I am not insane." 
"And I believe you," I sighed sarcastically. 

Forrest made my heart flutter. Which is weird, really weird - considering his rapid-fire homophobia.
"What time is it?" Forrest asked me, aimlessly staring at his dead phone. It had died on the way there, but he hadn't been too worried about it. "Around fivish. We should head back to the school." Forrest nodded, getting up and side-stepping over me.

I followed him.

"Er-- Riley?"
He stopped, turning on his heel to face me. I reminded myself mentally to stop at the mall on our way back - there was a good selection of flo---"Yeah?----" He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him. He pushed his head into my shoulder, unable to reach above it. My heart thudded loudly; so loudly, that I worried he'd be able to hear.

"You're-- good. You're a good,," he stumbled over his words as he pulled away, his face flushed with embarrassment, "you're a good-- friend." The word sounded almost heavy in his throat. Once it managed to escape, the weight shifted onto me - my heart dragged down to the ground.

"Thanks," I smiled sadly, "you're good too. More than good. I-um, yeah." I held my arms tightly to my chest. He nervously half-smiled, then continued walking away. I stared after him, hesitating briefly.

"What kinda faggotry do we have here?" I bit the inside of my mouth as Forrest spoke. Andre and Dylan stood in front of us. Andre's face was red and patchy around his eyes - - he'd clearly been crying. Although, maybe Forrest hadn't noticed. Or maybe he was just being an asshole.

Forrest was such a contradiction. His whole aura screamed of hypocrisy. Less than 20 minutes before, we had stood silently, body's pressed together. Now, faced with Andre and Dylan, Forrest's "shell" (for lack of a better term,) was back up. 20 minutes ago, he wouldn't have called what we were doing faggotry.

Andre shifted uncomfortably. He looked at Dylan, me, Forrest and then off in the distance (supposedly having some kind of dramatic inner-monologue conflict with himself).
"No. I don't-- Um---" Forrest had asked him if he still liked guys. "That was just a dumb phase," Andre said, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself than Forrest.

Forrest took a step forward; he reached out and grabbed Dylan (who had been watching in utter confusion) by his shirt. "Hey--" Dylan began, but was harshly interrupted by a knee to the stomach. He fell back, crashing into Andre. Andre stared at Forrest, eyes wide.

"What the fuck was that for?" Dylan asked, wincing with pain. Props to the guy for standing up for himself. Forrest glared at Andre, who promptly let go of Dylan, letting him fall to the ground.

"Very well then," Forrest hissed, his tone dark and rude. He looked back at me, "come on, let's go." I nodded, and he went on. I paused as I walked past the pair. "Sorry," I whispered to Andre. He nodded grimly.

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jay pov

I crouched down next to Audreena again. The (neighbours) flowers had been accompanied by a fresh, new bunch. On them was attached a small tag - it addressed the flowers to "Aiden".

Hazah! The lore expands! I pulled open the cheap can, downing extra just to make sure I wouldn't remember any of the newly gained knowledge.

Who was Aiden?

I stared at the headstone - it definitely was only named as one person. It would be kinda creepy for two people to be buried in the same lot. Well maybe you could stack them. But like, imagine putting two bodies in the same coffin; it would definitely save a lotta space. And if you were accidentally buried alive, you wouldn't be alone. Yeah, they'd be dead, but they wouldn't argue with you. So boom - you've got a friend, and you're always right. Perfect situation, apart from the being buried alive with a dead corpse bit.

Adequately (completely) drunk, I decided that being buried alive would actually be quite cool.

The flowers were pretty, but I'm not the kinda guy to know the difference between flowers. I can tell a sunflower from a rose, but that's like.. Probably the peak of it. I drank a littttle bit more, just to make extra sure I wouldn't remember shit.

I was gonna head out, find a girl willing to have sex, then stay there for the night. That was my plan. But I'd been walking past, and had remembered about the grave of the mysterious "Audreena", and had decided to pay a visit.

Wait.

Audreena.

Aiden?

My intoxicated brain made a connection - maybe Aiden was a nickname. "Wannt me to call you Aiden?" I asked the stone. The stone nodded (in my head it did, anyway). I gave it a weak thumbs up, before deciding crouching was taking too much effort. I lay back, staring at the sky.

Aiden stared at it with me. I wasn't actually sure if they were a "she" or not anymore, so I decided to settle with just saying they. I felt my vision going blurry. Maybe I'd scrap my plans, and just stay there. Maybe I'd stay there, and just wake up confused. I'd wake up confused and not know who Aiden was, why I was in insufferable pain or why the fuck I was lying in a pit of dead bodies.

Wait, what the fuck? I was lying in a pit of dead bodies? I sat up, looking around me. Ya, a pit of dead bodies. It was probably around half eleven, so not actually that late. I stood up, determination filling me. The sky was dark, scattered with little white dots, little stars - each cheered me on, encouraging me to do my best and fight on.

I sat back down, deciding the pit of dead bodies wasn't that bad. (Well, compared to having stars yell motivational quotes at you.)

I crossed my legs, not regretting any drugs at all. Whatsoever. Not one bit.

Why was I back here?

Actually, that's not a hard question.

- drugs.
- alcohol.
- probably just general insanity.

I sighed, lying back down. As I fell, my eyes caught site of the tag again.

To Aiden.
From Riley. I miss you.

They drifted shut the second my head hit the ground, all memories of that night being whipped away with my consciousness.

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Jay makes a second appearance.... hmmm could this be build up to the ending??????????????1//

word count: 1455