That one time I woke up in prison

Chapter 5

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The axe's blade hacked at the trunk easily.

The piglin was out gathering firewood, boredom leaving him zoned out and careless. Careless enough to not notice someone sneaking up on him.

"A little birdie told me that you have plans to work with Dream."

The warrior spun around instantly, taking half a second to slam the intruder against a nearby tree. He held the netherite axe to the stranger's throat. "Who the hell are you? How'd you find this area?"

The intruder simply cracked up, laughing like he wasn't just pinned with a weapon to his throat. "No need to get testy! I'm not here to cause trouble with your Syndicate."

"Give me a proper answer. And how do you know about that?"

He rolled his eyes, "Karl J. And it's not important." He looked the Blade in the eyes, seeming rather unconcerned by his humourless captor, "I guess you could say I'm here to negotiate."

"Negotiate? You mean threaten to sell my location to people who want me dead so they can send another execution attempt after me?" The piglin asked in amusement; this intruder must've had a death wish, "And on what grounds can you threaten me?"

"Wow, you certainly jump to conclusions."

"You snuck up on me and started the conversation by exposing my partnership with Dream."

"Fair," He shrugged, "but I can assure you I'm not here to threaten you."

Techno raised an eyebrow skeptically, "Oh?"

"I'm here on Dream's behalf. We're planning a prison break; care to help?"

He sat stunned for a moment. This scrawny kid in a colourful jumper was working as a spy for Dream? Then again, it would be a smart move; no one would expect it. "We're gonna go break Dream out, huh?" He considers it, "Do you have any ideas, or info on the prison?"

"Definitely," Karl nodded, "but don't you wanna get Phil on-board with this before we get further?"

"Right. Follow me."

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"Hm, certainly not a bad idea, mate," the winged man hummed, "this might actually work. But are you certain you can pull off your part, mate? We haven't really seen much of you."

"Yeah, don't worry," the time traveler chuckled darkly, "I've got quite a bit of acting experience."

The piglin leaned over to the winged man, stage-whispering skeptically, "Are we really going to leave a major role to a twink who looks like he got shat on by a unicorn?"

Phil hooted with laughter, "Be nice, mate! He's been working with Dream, I'm sure he'll do well."

As the winged man waved Techno back, Jacobs thought practically, "So when are you both free to start the prison break plan?"

"Tomorrow should be fine for me," the anthropomorphic pig shrugged, "what about you Phil?"

"Yeah, I'm free tomorrow. That okay, mate?"

The time traveler thought for a second, before nodding, "Tomorrow works. I'll just have to make an excuse to get away from Sap - and Quackity, if he's home."

"Perfect, mate," The winged man gave a small grin, "tomorrow it is, then."

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Karl wasn't expecting to walk in on a screaming match.

As soon as he passed through the doorway, he found himself in the middle of a fight between his fiances.

"You're never fucking home anymore, Quackity!" His fiery lover screamed, "What could be more important than your goddamn fiances?!"

The beanie-wearing boy scoffed, "You say that like you didn't just completely fucking abandon me and start your own stupid kingdom project together!"

"You could've joined us! We gave you every chance!" Sapnap snapped, raising his hands in exasperation, "But noooo, you just had to go off as some fucking loner!"

"Excuse me?!" Quackity screamed, "You never once offered for me to come! In fact, you ignored my texts for a week!"

"I wasn't ignoring you, I was just busy!" He protested, his fists clenched.

The beanie-wearing boy pressed forward, shoving a finger in his lover's face accusingly, "Now who's the one with something more important going on than their fiance?!"

"Lay off it, man!" The boy with the bandana whacked his hand away harshly, "You're being just like Schlatt right now!"

Quackity's expression shattered as Sapnap's face contorted with horror at his own words.

They were both deathly silent for several heartbeats, neither daring to move even an inch.

"That's it. That's fucking it." The beanie-wearing boy spat at his partner, "I'm done here, take back your stupid fucking ring!" He threw it across the room, leading to his now ex-fiance to cover his face as the golden ring was deflected by his arm. " ¡Pudrete en el infierno! " (Rot in hell!)

Quackity spun on his heel and promptly stormed out of the room, leaving his fiances stunned and disbelieving.

"Sap, what did you just do..?" Karl whispered in horror, his hands clasped over his mouth as he looked to his remaining partner.

"I- You can't just put the blame on me for this!" He quickly turned his anger to the boy in the multicoloured sweater, shaken by what just went down.

The boy's eyes managed to widen further, "Wait no, that's not what I--"

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The time traveler sat against the wall in his underground library, his head buried in his knees.

Out of everything he'd become desensitised to, one thing he still couldn't stand was the arguments. Everything he'd done was originally for them. Even if this wasn't technically his timeline, it still hurt.

Though, he guessed this just meant there was nothing to feel bad for when breaking Dream out of prison. Especially if this went horribly wrong, and it turned out the sea pickle was indeed lying about his memory loss.

"I guess," he muttered to himself with a hollow smile, "I guess I won't have to worry about making an excuse to get away from Sap and Quackity now."

Tomorrow would throw the server into a panic.

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He bypassed Quackity on the way to the prison. They didn't even look at each other.

Karl got there first, being allowed in by Sam and going through the visitation procedures. Unbeknownst to the warden, a piglin was following behind in invisibility.

When the time traveler finally made it to the main cell, he waited for Sam to leave, and then started the main phase of the plan.

"So you actually came in the normal way this time, huh?" the prisoner asked, anxious but happy for some non-torturous company once again.

"Yep, but I'm unsurprisingly not alone," Karl shrugged as Techno drank milk behind him to be rid of the invisibility, "plus it's time for your prison break."

"Oh, nice!" Dream smiled, though he wasn't entirely feeling safe, "How are we going to do this?"

"Techno and Phil already know the full plan," the time traveler started, before completely averting expectations, "so Imma need you to take one of my canon lives."

The prisoner's expression dropped as he began to protest, "Wait, I'm not gonna just kill you!"

"Yes you are," the piglin confirmed, "I'll set up the inside wither while you do that."

"No, no no no," Dream continued to protest, crossing his arms stubbornly, "I refuse. I'm not gonna kill anybody."

Karl groaned in annoyance, "Fine, jeez. We'll do this the hard way." He turned to Techno, who had been waiting in boredom, "Just let the wither kill me then."
"Go ahead and make the wither now. Also tell Phil to make the outside wither too."

The piglin didn't hesitate.

>KarlJacobs was shot by a wither skull from SUBSCRIBE TO TECHNOBLADE

"Mate, did you have to do that?"

"What? My sellout timer went off."

"Goddammit, Techno."