Birds of a Feather

28

It had been two years since I moved to Gotham as a new person. Rachel Roth was my new name, a name my mother had wanted to give me until the monks of Azarath had realized all of the bad luck I was bound to bring. Who knew they'd be so right?

I'd heard nothing from any of the other Titans nor from Bruce Wayne. I wasn't sure how long I was supposed to wait until I proved that I was worthy of crime fighting again, but I was beginning to get impatient. In the past two years I had been more in control of my emotions than ever before. I no longer had to suppress them in order to keep my powers in check. Something on that night, something about embracing Rage and Lust for the first time since my birth, unlocked whatever the secret to my powers was. I was like a child experiencing everything for the first time, with my new way of life, I had begun to heal from all of the pain in my past. I learned to accept the pain and embrace whatever small things in life gave me joy.

Jason ended up finding me on one of his frequent museum robberies. I happened to be visiting and he happened to be stealing the exact item I was trying to look at. At first, I hid despite wearing my holo ring, I still had the same facial features and didn't want him to recognize me. But I hadn't been fast enough, and he caught my arm before anything was said. He brought me to the roof of the building where we had a long discussion about what had happened. In the end we both apologized and while it was still a bit of a sore subject we slowly became friends over the years. He would visit me at the library I worked at dressed just as Jason Todd and from the outside we looked like a normal bunch of friends.

Victor never contacted me, which I suppose was fair. If I were in his position I wouldn't risk my spot on the League for someone who had tried to kill me multiple times. Still, it was a bit painful to know that he knew where I was and how alone I was and never once tried to even write me a letter to yell at me. At this point I would have taken all of the Titans screaming at me as opposed to the radio silence.

And then there was Richard. I had Jason tell me about him every once in a while just to keep my sanity in check. As far as Jason was aware Richard was still in Jump, teaching and leading the next generation of heroes. I had dreams almost every night of Richard in his sweatpants and tshirt looking for me. Eventually I felt the bond slowly start to disappear just as it did the first time that everyone had left. I couldn't be sure as to why it went away but the day I stopped being able to check in on his well being was the day I decided to take Jason up on his offer to get food at least once a week.

"You're thinking about him again." Jason said with a smirk as he nudged my arm. We were currently walking back through the small city streets of the outer edge of Gotham towards my home.

"You don't know what I'm thinking." I retorted.

"You always get that dreamy look when you talk or think about him. I told you he's fine." He gave a laugh, but I could tell it wasn't genuine. There was something he wasn't telling me.

"I know he's fine. I just wish I would know when my banishment was over." I said quietly. The sun was setting just over the high-rise buildings in the distance.

"I can always tell Kori; she's never stopped talking about how much she misses you" He mentions. After I left, Jason, Kori and Speedy, now known as Arsenal, joined together to go on missions every once in a while. I wasn't sure how the team formed but was glad that Starfire was back to what she loved, which was fighting crime.

"No one can know where I am." I say sadly. My biggest worry was that the instant someone finds me that they'd hate me. There's no reason any of them should forgive me for what I've done, and it terrifies me to think that I've officially lost everyone. Even scarier is the idea that maybe by some miracle they don't hate me, but I get told that I'm no longer welcome in North America or worse Earth. There were too many risks involved.