Flight to Oslo | l.s.

10

"Hello."
"Halo."
"Can I get the vodka please?" I pointed on the last bottle of that clear liquid.
The woman probably didn't speak English since she didn't ask me about my age and just sold me the alcohol. I wasn't underage anyways so I didn't really care.

I had never been drunk before.

I opened the bottle right outside the door and sipped the burning liquid. It was awful, absolutely awful.
I still had a lot of time to get to the airport. It was only 10 in the morning and the plane was leaving at 8 pm.

I went to the sea coast while still sipping the vodka. It was getting better. It stopped burning after some time. I was getting slightly lightheaded though, because I wasn't used to drink.
I stripped down my coat and hoodie. Although it was really cold my skin felt like fire. I struggled with my shoes but somehow managed to take them off as well.

At some point I started a conversation with myself. I was talking about my orientation mostly.

"I am gay, a failure in the system. I don't know why I am gay. I would like to suck it up and find a girl like normal people but I can't. I- I just have some weird brain." with tears in my eyes I took a very long sip from the bottle. I was sitting at the mole and staring into the water. That idea of drowning myself crawled into my mind. Everything came back, those terrible years in school and people judging me by my looks, by my personality and by my orientation. I stood up and looked underneath. I could just go for a swim and never come back. I would go to hell and burn there forever as I deserve.

Look it's the fagot!

You look like a girl in pink.

Are you retard?

He touched me! That dirty slut touched me!

Get away nobody would like to be friends with you! You are ill.

Your parents must be really disappointed. Failure of the family, right?

Go suck some dick.

Licking a lollipop? Training for nights at the bar, hah?

Cockslut!

I grabbed the bottle again. Half of it was already empty.
"It isn't helping." I informed myself.
"Fuck life, fuck me, fuck Louis, fuck everyone!" I shouted from the bottom of my lungs.

I went to the edge.
"Just one jump and it's all gone." I said to myself.

"Hey!" I looked around, my vision being blurry.
The bottle slipped from my hand to the ground, crushing into pieces.
"Fucking hell." I murmured.

When I was with one leg in the air someone caught me around my waist.
"Stop touching meeee!" I was squirming, trying to get out of the squeeze.
"Ha-" I interrupted that someone.
"Fuck you!" he spoiled my plan!
"Harry?" how did that person know my name?
"What d u want? Leave me alone. I am going for a swim." I tried to get out of the person's hold.
"You would freeze down there." I noticed the person was going further from the mole with me.
"Do I seem like I care?" I said seriously.
"Not really..."
"Exactly mister. Let me go. I will finally help make this world a better place and burn in the hell, like the fagot that I am."

"What?" why were they so surprised?
"Im a failure. I failed everyone. Nobody likes me." I began to cry. I didn't know why... all of sudden I was all emotional.
"Are you sure?" that stranger asked again.
"Yeah." I sobbed.
"Not a single soul?"
"No. The person I would like to be with right now is probably shagging somewhere."
I couldn't see the pain in that person's eyes. If I only could.

I didn't even know who this person was.

"Don't say stuff like that. You are drunk."
"It's true. He is finding himself some young twink that is funny and all that."
"You are perfect." the person was on the edge of crying but I didn't even notice.
"Haha, I look like a fucking rat. What am I even doing?"
"I wanna die." I said mindlessly, looking up into that person's face. I couldn't make out how they looked like.
"No, don't talk like this."

"Can you tell me... where did we stop?" I asked him.
"What do you mean?"
"The conversation." I explained.
"Ehhh." the man was probably even more lost than me.
"That man. He was right." I remembered.
"What man?"
"I don't know. He walked at me in the bathrooms today and told me that I look like a girl and that he will get bored of me soon and he will-" I was mumbling.
"Who will get bored, love?"
"Louis." I exhaled, remembering those bloody beautiful eyes.

"Louis?" the stranger asked.
"Yeah. I didn't want it to end so I had to end it myself."
"Why would you do that?"
"I told you already. He would get bored of me and I would.... it doesn't matter." I didn't feel like telling him all that happened in those last three days.

"Maybe it's not that late?"
"It is. He will go back to London with his big plane and people on the board."
"He is a ....?" I felt like telling him. It was just Louis' job after all.
"Pilot, pilot he is. He loves planes so much." I started crying and buried my head into the stranger's chest.
I don't know how but I managed to fall asleep in that person's tight hold. It made me calm down I guess.

I woke up on a bench. My head was hurting like crazy.
"Ahhh." I shut my eyes again after opening them.
"What is...?" I carefully looked around me, the bright sunset still blinding my eyes.

I felt a hand in my hair. I looked up and saw that familiar face.
"Lou-is." I wasn't sure if I could still call him Lou.
"Harry, promise me you will never do this again." he shook his head in disapproval.
"Ahh, probably not... but what are you doing here?" I shifted my head so I could see him better. It was rested in his lap as I noticed.
"Taking care of you?" he tucked few strands of my hair away from my face.
"I- Louis-" I tried to get up but I was still weak.
"Lie down. Don't move." he helped me lie down on the bench again.
"What happened exactly?" I didn't remember a shit.
"Harry, I don't wanna tell y-" I cut him off.
"Tell me." I demanded. I just had to know.
"You wanted to jump into the water and-" he silenced himself before he continued.
"You talked about me." he looked away from me.

Oh no, no, no. This was bad.
"You said-"
"What did I tell u?" I interrupted him although he was just about to tell me.
"That I am looking for some other twink to fuck."
"Now I really feel like dying. I am a horrible person. How could I say something like this to you? I-" this time Louis was the one who interrupted my mumbling.

"Wait, you were also speaking about some man. Do you remember?"
"I-" should I tell him?
"Tell me Harry. This is a safe place." he placed his hand into my hair again, stroking my curls.

"He said that I should go to girl bathrooms." I bit my lip to prevent myself from crying here.
"What?" he stopped touching me completely.
"He said that I don't have a dick on my own so I have to suck it or have it up my ass and-"
"And?" he was now staring down at me.
"He talked about you... that you will leave me for someone who is better, that I am boring and ugly. I wasn't sure what I was doing. Please forgive me. I will leave just- please forgive me." I brought my hands together, pleading him.
"No." he said flatly.

"No?" I sat up. The tears stopped running from my eyes for a minute or so, thanks to the shock that he won't ever forgive me. Before I could start crying again he said something I wouldn't expect him to say at all.
"I will not let you leave Harry." he kissed my forehead.
"Louis-" I wanted to say something too.
"You need to rest but we have to get to the airport." he stood up, picking me into his arms. I knew I was heavy but I was so thankful for this.