Pathos [Gay/BL]

Chapter XII

CHAPTER XII: The Christmas lights

Trigger warning: depression and trauma

After the movie, Shad invited me to have dinner and I accepted. But when he asked me to spend the night at his house, I refused. The thought of rich people in a rich house with rich food just made my heart beat fast in anxiety. Who was I to be in a house like that? Who was I to be hanging out with a guy like Shad? He was the richest child in town, Amy and Stella had said. And I was no one compared to him. Also, spending the night? What!? Was he trying to kill me from a heart attack? 

He didn't persist, though. He was very sweet, very kind. But I just felt like I didn't belong around him, like we were opposites. I didn't like that feeling, it made me feel insecure and made me feel like I was less. I had already fixed that problem with myself, didn't want to sing the same old song. I was over that.

The morning after, Mom was already having breakfast and, by the look of her eyes, she had been waiting for me to come down expectantly. When I put a foot in the kitchen, she raised from her seat and smiled at me widely, which caught me off guard and made me gasp in a shock.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a hand on my pulsating chest.

"There are some letters for you," she only answered raising her eyebrows teasingly. At first, I didn't understand her face of excitement but then I suddenly got it.

"Oh! Where?" I exclaimed in a sudden rush. She just nodded toward the table in front of her, where three letter envelopes laid still.

I ran to them and started to read the remitters in the back of each one. One of those caught my attention the most and I opened the envelope. When I finished reading it I looked over to my mom, who was expectantly scrutinizing me and sipping from her cup of coffee. I smiled widely.

"I got in," I said. "I got in the UGA!"

"Oh my God!" Mom yelled while she ran to hug me. "My son is going to be a biologist! Oh my God!"

I hugged her back, suddenly all of my excitement dissipating. I'd talked with Stella and Amy about my concerns with college. There was something good that the trip to Chicago left me and that was what the lady in the labs had told me: "you'll really regret not studying what you really enjoy" she had said. Since that moment, I had been asking myself if I really wanted to be a biologist or that was just my mom's wish. I broke the hug and suddenly realized she was crying.

"Mom, why are you crying?" I asked concerned while wiping her tears off.

"My baby is leaving the state," she moaned and sobbed. 

"Mom..." I tenderly said and hugged her again. "We talked about this. I wanted to visit other places, I wanted to go south."

"I know, I know... It just didn't feel real 'til now..." she grunted against my chest. I broke the hug again and placed my hands on her shoulders so she listened to me carefully.

"Mom, Georgia is fine and is not that far away from here. I'll come visit you on vacation and most of the weekends. I won't leave you alone, okay?"

"Okay," she said and sniffed. I cleared my throat and got my hands out of her shoulders.

"I wanted to tell you something," I said nervously.

"What?"

"Umm... Stel, Amy and I have been doing some research and um... I've seen a major that I like better in the UGA..."

"Oh, really? Microbiology? I think I saw something like that in..."

"No," I cut her off.

"What then? Genetics or..."