Follow your heart

💜31💜

When Yoongi left Ryan's home after what seemed an eternity, he dragged his feet towards the dorm. His hand was already on the doorknob when he stopped himself. His grip tightened as fury rose inside him again.
He let go of the door to let his back hit the hallway wall, gliding down against it as new tears came to his eyes. The realization that he had lost her, lost her for real this time. Knowing that his best friend was now the man her heart was beating for made his heart shed into a thousand pieces.
His eyes darted to the door that separates him from his home, his safe place but it was not safe enough for him anymore.
After what happened tonight, he was not able to face his brothers again. How could he explain that she told him that Hoseok was now the man in her life? 

When he heard a commotion coming from the dorm he got up and ran. He did not know how but his body remembered the only place he considered safer than his home, his studio.
He hurried inside, locking the door behind him before taking a seat in front of his computer. His head in his hands as he could not get over the words she had said to him. How could he ever get over this?
He leaned back in his chair, opening his eyes to look at the large screens that normally showed his latest work. His latest work... His song for Ryan!
Rage resurfaced as he ripped the cables out of his computer, shoving his keyboard off the desk with a scream of despair.
He paced the room trying to calm himself but there was nothing that could bring him peace of mind. His eyes darted to the little cupboard in the corner. With long strides, he walked towards it to open the container, which he had not unlocked since he met Ryan.
Immediately, his eyes landed on the three full bottles of whiskey that were set next to each other under the shelf of glasses. He grabbed the first one, opening it to take a long drink of it without even taking a glass.
Before his closed eyes, Ryan's sweet smiling face appeared. Her beautiful smile will now only enlighten Hoseok's day and not his.

Half an hour later and a bottle down, Yoongi flopped down on the couch. He was wasted but even the alcohol could not numb the hurt he was feeling.
Before he fell asleep on the sofa, he had spent so many hours on, he got up and in a moment of desperation, changed the key code to his studio. He knew that his brothers would come to look for him eventually and the first one would be Hoseok.
Hoseok, his best friend, who he loved so dearly but could not face right now. He could not give him his blessing to be with Ryan and he felt sorry and guilty for it.

Ryan had an awful night where she shifted between seeing Yoongi in her sleep crying and begging, and wandering through her place with that awful feeling of guilt. Why did she have to hurt him? Why did she not remember? And even if she did not remember why did she not follow her heart that is clearly beating for him? A light knock on the door pulled her out of her many rants on herself for what she did.
"Hello, Ryan." Jin greeted her with a big smile.
"Hey, Jin." She faked a smile, not wanting to break apart in front of her friend.
"Can you tell Yoongi to meet us outside in an hour? We have dance practice at the company."
"I am sorry but Yoongi is not here." Ryan looked into Jin's face as his eyes changed from carefree to panic in a second.
"Did he not stay with you last night?"
"No, he left quite early. Why? Is he not home?" Ryan felt nauseous as she hoped he was fine.
"Did not see him! Maybe he is already at work. Bye, have a nice day." Jin turned on his heels and she could see him running back to the dorm.
She closed the door to let her emotions out again. 'Please Yoongi be safe! I did not mean to hurt you.' she prayed as new tears ran down her face.