Her Weakness

Chapter 1-Lexa

No one protests when I announce that I am heading to the Ark. My people seem to fear me more than usual. They have never seen me this angry. They think I am angry at the Mountain Men for kidnapping so many of us, and for what they did to our people. I let them think that.

I believe that you must be honest with yourself before you can be honest with anyone else. And the truth is that I am mad at the Mountain Men. I would love nothing more than to stick their soldiers' heads on pikes after we torture them until they cannot take the agony any longer. But the Mountain Men alone could never get me so furious.

I am angry at myself. She may be annoying at times, but she's a good... friend. And whenever I close my eyes, all I can see is the sadness in her blue eyes, the disappointment when she learned that I accepted that damn deal. I hurt her. I hurt her and it kills me to know I caused her pain.

My people think I did the right thing.

Not too long ago, our people would have gladly slit each other's throats. We would have as well. But now... I am weak for her. I allow myself to be weak for my people, but she is not one of us. She's different. One of the Sky People. She is their leader, for the gods' sakes. And she makes me weak.

No one objects, even though they think I am going back to try to help the Sky People. I am, but I would never intentionally put anyone's lives in danger because of my weakness. Though they would, if I asked them to. Or ordered them to. I will not force anyone to fight and die for those Sky People. Or me, if I can help it. I am going to help them myself. If some of my people volunteer, I will not stop them. But I will not force them.

I am going against everything we stand for. For her.