Her Weakness

Chapter 4

"So how do we do this, Lexa?"

She said my name. Clarke said my name again. I take that as a good sign. I hope more than anything that it is.

"I was wondering that myself." Before she can chide me on not being prepared, I continue. "And then I thought back to when you saved me from that beast. We could use a similar tactic on--"

The door bursts open, smashing into the wall loudly, revealing Octavia.

"So it's true," she gasps, out of breath. She straightens and gives me a scowl. "You are here, Commander. My brother could be dying because of you! He could be being drained of blood because you made that damn deal! If he dies, I will kill you."

Clarke steps between Octavia and I. "Calm down."

"Calm down? Why is she even here? To flaunt the fact she has her people back?"

"Lexa's here to help. Did you come here just to yell at her?" Clarke crosses her arms and even though I am staring at the back of her head, I know she is giving Octavia a look that could freeze a river beast in fear.

"No. Your mother wants you to help make plan B to get the others back." She glares at me and I keep my expression neutral like she did not just bring up some of the many things I have been beating myself up for since the battle.

"Very well. Lexa will come, too. She says she has a plan." She turns her head and looks at me with those piercing eyes, reading my expression in a way only she can to make sure I am okay with going.

Octavia sighs and steps back from the door, gesturing to let us out first. To anyone else, it would seem like she is being polite. But I know better. She does not trust me enough to be behind her and wants to make sure I will not kill Clarke.

As if I would ever intentionally hurt her. Especially now that I know how much it hurts me to hurt her. I feel more for her than I have for anyone... ever. Not even Costia.

I want to shelter her, to hold her in my arms and protect her from the cruelties she has been exposed to. That is extremely uncharacteristic of me. I have only ever felt a fraction of this way for my people. She brings out all those emotions I repressed years ago. And I do not mind one bit.

Not that Clarke would ever let me safeguard her. Besides the fact she has people to lead, she is strong in a way I have rarely seen. Her emotions, her love and devotion to her people, they make her strong.

For not one other individual person have I wanted to destroy their enemies, to kill all who dare hurt her or those she loves. To paint the walls with the blood of her foes.

The less violent part of me wants to kiss her. To show her how much she means to me. But I am not sure either of us is ready for that. I do not want to make her uncomfortable, or force her to feel the same way. If we get together like I hope, it will be because she wishes it as much as I.

"The Commander is here," Octavia announces as she brushes past us into a room with models of the Mountain Men's home.

"Commander." Clarke's mother frowns for a moment before forcing a smile that does not fool me for a second.

"She's here to help." Clarke walks into the room and everyone stands up straighter in her presence. I hope both she and her mother realize the effect she has. She makes many willing to die for the wellbeing of few. She is inspiring.

"Can we trust her after the Mountain Men?" Clarke's mother asks. A few others murmur their agreement, shooting me looks that would normally result in their deaths.

Clarke makes a face like she is going to go and tell them off for questioning me or something.

"After that, I do not deserve your trust. But that does not matter. What matters is getting your people back." I make unwavering eye contact with every person in the room until I get into a stare off with Clarke's mother until she glances away.

Clarke interrupts the charged silence. "So, what's your plan?"