remember me ➳ troyler au // SECOND //

V

Tyler

13.01.15

12:13 p.m.

"Tyler?" I hear Troye say. My head turns towards Troye so I can give him all of my attention. "I have a reoccurring nightmare, and I think it has something to do before I got amnesia." I stop what I was doing for a second, then kepy eating. What if he finds out about what he did? What if he remembers?

"Okay, what is it?" I ask casually so that he won't be suspicious.

"A guy named Connor laughed at me for getting hit with a car... You, Zoe, and Alfie were there. Connor said I was cutting and I'm not sure what that meant and he basically physically hurt me. I still feel pains." He hesitates for a second and rolls up his left sleeve to reveal that bandage. He holds onto the end piece and holds it there for a second.

"Don't—" I say, trying to change his mind. He still holds onto the bandage. Then, he shakes his hand and starts to rip off the bandage. I see Zoe and Alfie look over at what he was doing. Their eyes widen, and so do the others around us as we all watch Troye. He stares at his scarred forearm and I see some people gasp. I saw Tanya and Louise get up to go to the bathroom since they thought it was disgusting to see some dry blood and scars in his arm.

"What are these and how did I get them?"

"I'll tell you later—"

"No, not later. Now. How did I get these scars?" Zoe and I make eye contact as soon as he said that. We both were scared. We gave each other signals meaning that if we should tell him or just tell him a lie.

"You fell onto rock multiple times that they cut through your skin. They were sharp rocks, though. And you have dropped scissors on your forearm a few times. Sharp scissors, to be exact. And one time we were eating steak together and you dropped your knife onto your arm," I lie. I catch my breath. I see Zoe give me two thumbs up and continues to eat, still staring at Troye.

"Oh, okay. That seems... hurtful. Are there any other ways? Because I know I haven't dropped scissors or knives on my arm about one hundred times, nor have I tripped over sharp rocks." My heart starts to race. I don't want to tell him. He might remember and start to cut—

"No, there aren't. Don't worry too much, Troye. Keep the bandage on it so it would heal faster," Zoe says, interrupting my thoughts. I nod as in 'thank you for saving me from my thoughts' and she smiles and nods. "Hopefully," she adds quietly, hoping that Troye didn't hear. And I guess he didn't. He does have shit hearing.

The bell rings.

"Let's go," I say, grabbing onto Troye's arm.

3:45 p.m.

We were at my house. My mom wasn't home, luckily. I lean back on my bed and stare at the white ceiling, thinking of Troye. I see him in the ceiling, smiling. His blue eyes so bright and full and his pupils dilated when he sees me. He didn't look depressed at all. He was just a happy, cheerful boy.

I'm not sure what happened. I remember him telling me that he was popular at school. And now, he's not. He's just a nobody.

Then, there was a twist. Two men came along and abused Troye. It was both Connor and Gavin. I see the both of them working together and hurting him. I was scared and all what I was doing is standing in the corner. Not helping Troye at all be hurt by my friends.

My fake friends.

I only wanted to save myself.

Not him, but me, myself, and I.

I never saved him.

I was never his superhero.

And I feel bad.

I feel my facial expressions change to a sad, angry face. I feel a pair of eyes looking at me, which I had no doubt it was Troye. So, I look over and see Troye's bright blue eyes look at me. He smiles. "Can you tell me about myself? Because I want to know so I can remember."

"Let's see... You're talented. You used to sing all the time and write amazing songs and you loved acting. You loved to play a piano and write songs on it." He smiles and nods.

"Also, Tyler. What did happen? I knew you were lying earlier about me tripping and dropping things onto myself causing the scars. I want to know. Just tell me—"

"I can't, Troye. I'm sorry." He frowns. Then, his phone buzzes and he checks it. He then shoves his phone into his pocket a second later.

"My mum's here," he says, not really happy. He looks at me angrily and he leaves my house without even saying goodbye.

I felt hurt.

I felt unwatned.

I felt like nothing.

As soon as he shut the door to my house, I took a pillow and shoved my face into it, starting to cry. I was crying because I felt like a shit friend to Troye.

I was crying becuase I never even dared to help him just so I can save my social status.

I could have done more. I could have saved him from everything. If I just stood up and demand things to stop my friends, I could have won and had Troye. Troye could have lived.

He could have not been depressed.

He could have been happier.

He could have not have amnesia.

He could still be dating me.

He could have told Connor to stay away.

He could have done many things if it wasn't for me. And I felt bad. I felt like a horrible influence. He could still remember his family if it wasn't for me. If it wasn't for me, he would be much happier. If I wasn't in his life. If I died, he wouldn't miss me and happy. Things could have gone much better if I died.

If I died.

➳

the other day there were bomb threats at my school isn't that great

and i got my freshmen schedule and i guess i'm gonna be in english accelerated??? i'm not sure how since i'm shit in english tbh

but then again i'm asian so

but lets all appreciate that cute picture of tyler in a superman onesie

kbye

Chapter V Question:

What do you think Tyler is thinking at the end?

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