remember me ➳ troyler au // SECOND //

XIII

Troye

14.02.15

3:46 p.m.

"Can't I just wait for a friend? She won't take long, trust me," I lie. Kyla takes literally forever in the bathroom. This morning when I picked her up from her house, she took at least 1 hour to do everything she needed to do. She has already fixed up her hair and did her makeup, though. All she needed to do was do that again. To make it more "perfect" when it already is.

"No, you cannot. So sorry. Just get behind the people behind you," the man says. I groan and walk behind a few people until I'm at the back of the line. The line was long. I looked behind me and saw the one person I didn't want to see. Tyler. He luckily was on his phone, though. He didn't look up at me. Or look at me. He was concentrated on his phone.

Behind him, there was a lot of people. Oh no. I remembered once that my friend told me that there was a long line at the swinging cart at the Ferris Wheel at California Adventure. They said they put her in a cart with a random man.

I was thinking of Tyler. I missed him. I wanted that to happen. But I didn't. I wanted to be with my... What should I call her? Girlfriend? Friend? Best friend? I love her, but I also don't. What is up with me?

I don't actually know who I love now. I love Tyler... No, I don't love Tyler. I hate him. I'm supposed to. I'm supposed to hate him. I'm supposed to love Kyla.

You're supposed to love Tyler.

Who was that? I look around. There was no one talking to me that loud. It sounded like an echo. Was that someone in my head? Was that me talking to myself in my head?

No, it's the voices again. Also known as Connor Franta. Look, Troye, I'm sorry. I'm honestly very sorry about what happened. I wasn't thinking when I pushed you into the streets. I love you, Troye. But I know you love Tyler more. And I know Tyler loves you more. Just, tell him your feelings.

My feelings about what? Hating him so much?

I know you are still madly in love with him. You just don't know it because you got amnesia and lost most of your memory. Thanks to me.

But... I just don't understand. I'm not in love with Tyler. Not even madly in love. I just...

You just what? Hate him? Because once when we were together, you said you hated me. The day after that, you told me you loved me. You told me that you loved me so much. And that you never wanted to let me go. You told me those things. I thought we broke up. But we didn't. You didn't make it official, though.

What does " didn't make it official" mean, then?

You didn't make our break up official. Which means you're still dating Tyler. You just don't remember it. You're in love with a man, Troye. Like it or not. You're gay. You aren't straight. You just can't remember it. Just remember what I have told you. You are still kind of dating Tyler. Just... Tell him your feelings. Tell him that you were sorry. He will forgive you.

And what if he doesn't?

Then you know for sure he doesn't love you back. But trust me, he will love you back. I bet that he will hug you. I bet that he will cry. I know for a fact, though, that he will forgive you. Just tru—

"How many people in your party?" The man asks, interrupting Connor in my head. The man was more calm this time.

"One."

"How about you?" The man asks Tyler. I didn't look at him. I just stared at the cart.

"One, too," Tyler says. The man nods and opens the cart door. I walk inside it. I stared at the man who was talking to Tyler. Tyler wasn't looking at me, though. I heard a few words but I couldn't make them out. Then I saw Tyler walk forwards. I quickly look away.

Hoe, don't do it.

I hear the cart close. I look over at Tyler. Shit, shit, shit. I wanted to scream. I didn't want to see his colourful hair or his beautiful face—

What am I saying? I have a girlfriend and I know I'm straight. I'm not gay. Or am I? I don't know. I remember Tyler said I was his boyfriend once. I was confused because I thought dating the same gender was bad? Maybe it wasn't. I don't know anymore.

The wheel starts to move. It felt like I was about to have a panic attack. I have anxiety? Probably forgotten about that. The cart starts to move down towards the water. I wanted to scream. Fuck.

I saw Kyla walking towards the line. She walks past everyone. She saw no one of me. I saw her throw her hands in frustration and she walks to a bench and sits.

The cart swings. It wasn't too bad.

"Um, hi, Troye," Tyler says awkwardly. I look at him. I wave. "Look, I'm sorry that I hung up on you the other few days... Well, a month ago. I'm so sorry. I don't care if you don't forgive me. I don't expect you to. I know you wanted to know why you have those scars... But... I just... I—"

"You can't tell me. Tyler, I'm okay. I just... I just am angry and disappointed. Can we just... Not talk about that anymore? I want to be your friend... still."

"You do? What happened?"

"I.. I don't know... I heard this voice in my head... His name was Connor, I think. He said I was still dating you and that you love me... I don't... I don't believe him, though. Were we in love, Tyler?"

Tyler walks over to sit next to me when the cart wasn't swinging. He hugs me. I felt his tears on my shoulder blade.

"Yes, we were. I'm so happy you remember..." I shove him off of me. He was shocked.

"Well, I don't remember. And if we were dating, then why did I stop? Why can't I remember? I'm dating Kyla now, and... And I don't know, okay?"

"You stopped because you couldn't remember."

I didn't answer him.

"I don't care if you don't listen. But I just wanted you to know... I love you so much, Troye. I couldn't do much without you since all my other friends were being dick heads. The popular ones, I meant. Not Louise and Zoe and Alfie and all."

I look up at him. The ride finally comes to a stop. The door opens.

"Please, remember me."

➳

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1.1k READS ON THIS STORY OMG !! i have gotten over that, but on another book?? thank you guys so much!

hi! i made a zalfie fic called "disordered" and i posted the trailer up rn and if you wanna check it out, click the link in my about section that has the word "youtube" in it!

or you can search up flower crowns phan au on youtube

chapter xiii question:

the voices came back !! what do you think might happen next? and also, should i make a trailer for the third book ( when i finish this story ) since this story is coming to an end soon?

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-camille