remember me ➳ troyler au // SECOND //

VIII

Tyler

15.01.15

7:54 a.m.

"I draw on my wrists too," Connor says, revealing his scarred arm. I look at it in shock. When did he do this? Why? Why did he do this to himself? When Troye added scars to his wrist, he did it because he was hurt by Connor. And when Connor did this, he was depressed because he hurt Troye. They're sort of in this loop hole.

"Why? Why did you do-"

"Because I was hurting Troye. The one I love. And when you came along, I wanted to hurt Troye because I thought you would go away. But that made him hurt himself. And that made me triggered to hurt myself, too. And I did it. And when I finally found out that Troye woke up with amnesia, I was devastated. My family would be so angry with me. My step family hates me. They won't talk to me. I have no one, Tyler. No one. Please don't be angry. Don't hurt me. I won't do it again; I promise."

I couldn't believe Connor. He has lied many times, and if he was lying, he wouldn't cry or cut open his wrists. And he is crying now. He's sad. Depressed. Lonely. He just wanted someone. Someone or something to hold onto for the rest of his life. And I ruined it for him. For me. For him. For Troye.

You ruin everything, Tyler.

I ignored the voice in my head. I didn't want it to bother me when thoughts were swimming through my head. But the only thoughts standing out were the voice and that I ruin everything. Because I do. That's what they all tell me, anyway.

"I trust you. Maybe after school you can tell me all about it? And then later on we can invite Troye over and tell him about you-if you're comfortable."

"Yeah, yeah. That'd be great. I can walk home with you after school and invite Troye later on?"

"If Troye is available. Hopefully. He's just really angry with me at the moment, so I need to talk him out of it. Maybe we can do this tomorrow or something if he rejects me."

"Yeah. Thanks, Tyler. See you soon, I guess?"

"Yeah."

3:22 p.m.

Troye has once again rejected me. I couldn't find him at all. He ignored me in class and he never said a word to me at all. So, I decided to go to his house to find out what was wrong. I don't even know why he's acting like this, though!

Wait, I know. It's just that he wants to know why he has those scars on his wrists. I couldn't tell him. That might trigger back his memories and he could be much more depressed than he was already. Or maybe much more happier. Who knows? I just wanted him happy, but I guess I'm just ruining it for him.

He's not even smiling in class. Did he remember? Or is he just mad at me? Because I would see him smiling all the time ever since he got amnesia. But now, he's not. I hope he didn't remember, because if he did, he could resort back to cutting. But he would remember me and always give me kisses on the cheek.

And he would also remember Gavin and Kevin and Connor. He would remember the things they did to him. They made him miserable.

But he got amnesia, so he doesn't remember. He doesn't remember the things they have done to him and that makes me happy. But it makes me sad that he won't talk to me anymore. It makes me sad that he is happier without me.

"Hey, Tyler!" I hear a familiar American voice say. I turn around and see Connor. He catches up to me and I smile. I was happy that Connor was with me. I basically have no one to go to, but him. And he's been a lot nicer now. Before, he hated me. And now, he's smiling when we make eye contact.