remember me ➳ troyler au // SECOND //

VII

Tyler

15.01.15

7:32 a.m.

Troye is ignoring me.

First, he skips school for a day. Second, he doesn't even acknowledge my texts. They just say "✔ Read at 7:56 a.m.". Third, he doesn't even talk to me during any time during class. He didn't have a pencil, so I handed him one, but he asked the person in front of him for a pencil right after I handed him one.

But why? What did I ever do? Is it because he wants to know how he has those scars?

Of course it is, you idiot.

"Who was that?" I say, looking behind me. There was no one in sight except for cars. Were they kids screaming from their cars?

But it sounded like a faint whisper instead of a scream. I continue to walk, hoping that no one would read my thoughts. Or maybe it was just a coincidence.

It wasn't a coincidence. You're just stupid.

"Okay, whoever you are, shut up!" I scream. No one. 

I'm in your head. Are you stupid or something?

What? I was confused. Am I getting those voices like Troye?

No shit sherlock.

I gasp out loud. I looked around to see if anyone heard me, only to find that someone was coming from behind. It was Connor. One of the last persons I want to see. I see him smirk and walk fast towards me. I start to jog, then I go out for a full out sprint. I hear footsteps from behind. Those were Connor's footsteps. And they were fast. Then, I finally got to a small and dark place. It was an alleyway. Soon, Connor finds me and attacks. I push him off of me and step away from him. I was breathing heavily like him.

I then see him jump up at tackle me to the ground fiercely and I gasp when I felt a sharp pain in my arm. I realized that he punched me. So, I punch him in the arm back. I also kick him in the shin. I see him wince in pain and steps back. 

He then punches my face, knocking my glasses off of my head and falling onto the ground, breaking. My eyes go wide. I couldn't see anything then. I'm as blind as a bat, which makes things a hundred times worse.

"What the fuck do you want from me? I don't like you," I truthfully say. I then bend down to find my glasses. I find them and put them on, just to realize that it broke in half. I groan in anger and take out my spare glasses in my backpack and put it on. I see him roll his eyes. "What? It's just for emergencies."

"I just want to ask if Troye's okay. And if you're okay," he says. He calms down. I put down my fists in the air and put them to my side. What the fuck just happened? Did he not just attack me? Did he forget? Does he have short term memory?

"You bipolar or something? You pushed Troye into the street and almost got him killed! And now, you ask if Troye's okay? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"No, I'm not bipolar. I just want to know? Is that such a problem to you? Because if so, then what is wrong with you? Hating on bipolar people, huh?" He says all tough-like. It didn't startle me at all.

"It's not a problem. It's just that you changed. You first said you hated him and wanted him to die, and you almost made that wish true, and then you become this soft person wanting to know what's wrong with his ex-boyfriend. That makes zero sense."

"You know, I still have feelings for him." Huh?

"What do you mean? If you have feelings for him, why did you push him into the street, almost killing him? Why did you tell him to kill himself?"

"I mean that I love him. Still. I do care. I care about it so much that I'd give my whole life away because I care so much. I pushed him into the street because I wasn't thinking. I was sad when he said that we're done. I wanted pay back. And I got it. But then, there was a feeling in my gut saying that it was wrong. And it was. I did a shit decision. I want to kill myself for it. But when I got the news that he was alive still, but lost his memory, I wanted to stab myself. He lost his memory. Which meant he forgot me, you, his family... Everything. His whole life... Restarted. And I feel like the worst person in the world because of it. Why couldn't it be me? I wanted to die in the first place after I pushed him. And I laughed when I pushed him. Laughed. When in reality, I was dying in the inside. Thanks to myself, since everything I touch will fall apart and rip me apart. It already ripped everything apart. My sister died because of me. And my brothers. Because of me. And my mom and dad... All because of me. And people were forced to adopt me. For money. No one wants me, Tyler. And if you have me that much because I pushed Troye, that's okay. If you blame me for Troye cu... cut..." He choked on his words. "—drawing on his wrists with a knife, that's okay, because look—" He pulls up one sleeve.

I look at his arm and gasp.

"I draw on my wrists too."

➳

wHAT JuST hAPEPNED IN thiS cHAPTer waHT

it's a short chapter bUT STILl WHAT

i dIDn'T eXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN

jsjsjs next chapter will be another chapter in tyler's pov since i planned to do something different than this

today my crush asked me to ask for a spoon and i almost died

Chapter VII Question:

Will things still stay the same or change between Connor and Tyler?

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—camille