Warriors at Heart (The Last Kingdom Fanfic)

Chapter 40

I remained crouched low in the bushes watching, waiting. A lone deer stepped out into the clearing. It's eyes alert, its ears listening. Listening for predators like me. I slowly drew my arrow back, prepared to shoot. The deer seemed to relax slightly and bent its head down to graze. I was about to let loose when its head reared upwards and it sprang into action, fleeing the clearing as if it had never been there.

"Dammit Uhtred!" I shouted, standing to face a bent over laughing Uhtred.

"Come now, there's plenty of food at the hall," Uhtred smiled at me, crossing his arms, and leaning against a nearby tree.

"I don't want your food," I grumbled.

"Whose land are you on?"

"Yours," I mumbled.

"Well then it stands to reason that the deer you were about to shoot is my deer." His smile was irritating me, yet I felt at tugging in my heart. Uhtred looked peaceful, something I had not seen in him since we were carefree youths. His blue eyes were soft and full of mischievous life. His long brown hair was pulled back neatly and sat on his shoulders. His smile was, despite his immense pleasure in bothering me, perfect.

"You can't own the deer," I shot back.

"But I can. I am a lord," he teased.

I rolled my eyes at him and gathered up my belongings.

"I really wish you'd consider moving to the hall, or at least the barn," he chuckled.

"And sleep with the pigs?" I laughed.

"Leofric sleeps there."

"Like I said, the pigs sleep there," I chuckled.

Uhtred broke into more laughter and clapped his arm around my shoulders as I walked by him. I felt my heart shattering into many pieces once more and playfully shrugged him off. "I am capable of walking myself," I said.

"Of course, you are," he replied, his tone slightly off. "I'm bored Tara, come back to me. Things are more fun with you around," he smiled, trying to lighten the mood once more.

"You know where to find me," I replied.

"In the woods?" He asked disapprovingly.

"Look Uhtred, I promised to follow you and be by your side when you call. But that's it. We can live our own separate lives until then. I mean you're married and have a baby on the way. Life is good is it not? Forget about me, I'm fine."

Uhtred stopped walking. He stared down into my eyes. "I thought we were friends."

"We are."

"But you don't want to spend time with me?"

"I do, but it's complicated."

"Complicated?"

"We are not children anymore Uhtred. You're a man. A lord of Saxon land. A husband and soon to be father. I am warrior who has no wars to fight."

"I don't see Leofric complaining."

I scoffed, "You compare me to him?"

"War is a means to an end, but peace is good too," Uhtred replied.

"You're sounding like Alfred," I fired back.

We stood in silence, staring anywhere but at one another. The birds chirped in the absence of our raised voices, and leaves rustled in a gentle breeze. Uhtred broke the silence first. "You can leave if you want. Find Ragnar, join him, fight for him."

After another long silence, and a struggle to keep my tears at bay I replied, "I don't want to leave."

"Then what do you want Tara? I can't bear to see you so miserable," he looked at me, pity in his gaze.

"I don't know what I want," I whispered.

Uhtred sighed, his voice softened. "Like you said, I have responsibilities you needn't be burdened with. You can go to Ragnar now and come to my aid later when I need you."

"I can't leave you," I bit my lips and met his gaze.

"Why not?" he asked.

I felt my lip tremble. I fought back the urge to cry and exhaled deeply. "You don't see it do you?"

"See what?"

A half smile crossed my lips, and I began to laugh. The tears streamed, but my laughter continued. Uhtred stared at me slightly concerned. I gained control of myself once more and asked him, "do you love Mildrith?"

I clearly had caught him off guard. He chuckled slightly. "Of course, I do."

I raised my brow at him. "Then why do you avoid her?"

"I don't avoid..."

"You do. You're never on the homestead. You rise early and return late."

"There are fields to tend."

"Not to that extent."

"What are you doing, spying on me?"

"I notice things."

"Tara, Tara, Tara," he chuckled, crossing his arms.

"You're bored too, admit it."

"I'm not bored. I have duties," his voice was growing annoyed and louder.

"To Alfred?"

"To my land."

"What are you going to do in four months, when your oath ends? Do you think Alfred is going to let you keep your land without first making you swear another? Do you really think he's going to release you?"

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because our paths are entangled Uhtred. What you decide affects me too."

"How many times do I have to tell you, you can leave whenever you want," he shouted.

We both remained silent, reflecting on his previous words. I could hear him panting slightly from having exerted so much breath. I gulped and softly replied, "Do you want me to?"

"To what?" He asked.

"Leave." He remained silent. "If you want me to leave, I'll go," I said softly. "I'll... I'll go right now."

Uhtred stared at the ground, and I felt my heart sink. I turned my head away to hide my fear that he'd say yes, but he surprised me. I felt his hands on my cheeks and his forehead pressed against mine. His eyes stared into mine and he closed his eyes as he whispered, "please stay."

My heart began to pound quick, and I felt my breathing grow uneven. Uhtred looked deep into my eyes, and I knew he understood. His lips came unexpectedly crashing down hungrily devouring mine. I knew I should've stopped him, but every inch of me rejecting common sense kissed him back. The kiss ended, and he pressed his forehead against mine once more. He chuckled slightly and smiled. "I never would've guessed. I always thought you had eyes for Ragnar the Younger."

"No. Ragnar was more like a brother to me than anything. A pesty older brother," I smiled.

"He is a pesty older brother," Uhtred laughed in agreement.

Our short laughter ceased, and we stood in silence, our foreheads still pressed together.