Warriors at Heart (The Last Kingdom Fanfic)

Chapter 46

Drinking, yelling, and general rowdiness filled the crisp night air. I sipped my ale as I watched Ragnar and Uhtred enthusiastically play tug-o-war. Despite being on the same side, they shouted insults at one another which won them laughs. The crowd began to jeer and laugh as Ragnar calmly abandoned his team and waltzed to the side near me to grab more ale, leaving Uhtred and the rest of his team to go flying into the warm, though potentially still hot coal bed.

"How are you?" Ragnar drunkenly asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm fine," I replied calmly, still watching Uhtred beaming and laughing like a carefree child.

"Hmm..." Ragnar mused.

"What?" I asked, looking at him.

"You seem awfully quiet," he chuckled.

"Can't a person be quiet without raising alarm bells?" I raised my eyebrow at him.

"I suppose,' he replied, stroking his beard. I rolled my eyes at him and watched him wander off away from the dimly lit square into the dark. I took another gulp of my ale and observed Brida and Uhtred talking nearby. I filled my mug once more and went to join them.

"Are you his wife?" Uhtred gently teased Brida.

"I'm with him. Is she beautiful?" Brida asked him, changing the subject.

"Her name's Mildreth. Yes, she's beautiful," he smiled.

A pang of jealousy washed over me and before I could stop myself, "and a Christian," slipped out.

"Yes, and a Christian," Uhtred said softly. The three of us remained dead silence, my comment clearly having killed the jaunty atmosphere. "She carries my child," Uhtred said, trying to break the stony silence.

"Ah. Who decided you should marry?" Brida asked, taking a gulp of her ale.

"Who you think?" I scoffed, the ale clearly impacting my ability to hold my tongue.

"That's enough Tara," Uhtred chided me in a stern tone.

"Is it? You know Uhtred, it breaks my heart to see you behaving like a dog," I fired back.

"Tara," Uhtred shot another warning look at me.

"You wife carries your child, yet you're given up as a hostage?" Brida asked.

"I have the land I asked for," Uhtred replied, taking another gulp of ale.

"Are you surprised Brida? The master sacrifices his dog. Afterall, he can always get another one," I scoffed.

"That's enough Tara!" Uhtred yelled, his ale sloshing as he slammed it down. Uhtred's face looked pained. I quickly regretted being so angry with him. Tears threatened to surface in my eyes, so I hastily huffed and stormed off, shoving past Ragnar as I went. "What did you do?" I heard Ragnar asked him, but I didn't hear Uhtred's reply for I had already stomped out of earshot.

Mixed emotions swirled as my heart and head were at odds with one another. My head was angry with Uhtred and tired of how Alfred treated him. My heart ached for him and his plight, being stuck between Saxon and Dane, but then again, why must he be stuck between the two? Ragnar would welcome him back in a heartbeat except for that stupid oath Uhtred had made to Alfred. Uhtred was right, oaths enslave men.

Lost in my thoughts I smashed right into a man who might've well as been a wall, for he did not move an inch. "Sorry," I quickly apologized without looking up and tried to scoot past him, for I was not in the mood to be harassed.

"Something troubling you?" A familiar voice asked. I looked up into a set of soft blue eyes and for once, a well-groomed head of dark brown hair belonging to our sort of friend/nemesis Barth Sogard.

"I'm fine," I replied, forcing a smile, and fighting back tears. Barth eyed me carefully, clearly not believing I was fine. "Honest. Now if you'll please..." I was cut off by him gently grabbing hold of my face and pressing his lips against mine. I was stunned for a few moments, and he pulled away and looked into my eyes, leaving his hands on the sides of my head.

"Who's made you sad my dear lady?" He asked. I blinked, my eyes wide. What had just happened? "I'm not sad," I muttered. He smiled knowingly. "You're too beautiful to be sad."

His warm hands and comforting smile were tempting. He wasn't a bad looking guy and seemed to care. And there was an undeniable attraction from the first time we met. I was hurting and I wanted to be comforted, but when I looked at his face my heart sunk for, I didn't see the one I wanted to. Coming back to my senses I shoved him away and shouted at him, "What was that for?"

"I apologize, I meant no offense," he replied, hurt.

"You can't go around kissing people!" I shouted, being angrier with myself for considering what I had been considering.

"Is there a problem here?" Ragnar asked firmly, walking up to my side.

"No lord," Barth replied to Ragnar, bowing his head slightly.

"Tara?" Ragnar asked me.

"No problem," I replied.

Ragnar eyed Barth and appeared to be sizing him up. He nodded his head and protectively wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He bid Barth goodnight and steered me away. He waited until we were a good distance away before removing his arm and looking at me sharply. "What happened Tara?"

"Nothing happened."

"You're upset," he replied. "Something happened."

I let out a small halfhearted laugh. "I swear, it wasn't Barth's fault. It's..."

"It's what?" Ragnar pressed on, clearly determined to not let me go anywhere until he worked out the source of my misery. I remained silent. "It's Uhtred isn't it?" he asked, reading my mind. I nodded and felt him pull me into a clumsy hug that borderline suffocated me. I clung to him like a child and silently sobbed. For the first time in a while, I felt safe in Ragnar's big brotherly embrace. Ragnar gently patted my back. "Oh Tara, you are no longer a child are you," he chuckled. "You're finding out the pains of being a woman in love."

"Is it always this terrible?" I asked.

Ragnar chuckled, "I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask that. However, I am beginning to find that love is a thing that takes time and grows stronger every day." I sniffled and looked up at Ragnar and saw a soft, calm look in his eyes I'd not seen before. I could tell he was thinking about Brida.

"You love her, don't you?" I asked, gently pulling out of his bearhug.

"Who, Brida?" he chuckled, looking slightly flustered. "Yeah, I love her. More and more every day."

"Brida is pretty great," I smiled.

"Aye, she is," Ragnar mused. We stood there in silence for a bit. "You're pretty great yourself," he laughed. I silently nodded. "Come on, let's get you another drink," he beamed, leading the way to the barrel of ale.