Itzy's 06th Member {AU}

4

I went home and opened the door. I removed my shoes and wore my slippers. As I went in and dropped my bags I see him sitting on the balcony floor staring at the city's beautiful view. I was about to approach him when he spoke.

Jonghyun: I'm sorry Su-Ha.

I understood that he felt guilty for what he did yesterday. As he continued I grabbed the milkshake and gave it to him. As I went near him I could see tears rolling down his cheeks. I hate seeing him cry. Like, IDK somewhere in my heart it hurts so much seeing him like that. I place the drinks on the table and rush to him. I kneel down to his level and rub the rears off.

Su-Ha: Jonghyun. Why are you crying?

Jonghyun: I'm sorry. Sorry. *crying*

I felt two arms slide around my waist as he rested his head on my shoulder. He was uncontrollably crying. I rarely see him cry like this. 

"If you are going to continue crying like this even I'm gonna cry" I said while rubbing his back.

I see Jonghyun gulping a lump in his throat as he tightens the hug.

Su-Ha: It's ok. I was never angry with you. You knew your mistake.

Jonghyun: Thanks.

Su-Ha: Now stop crying and get up. I bought us chocolate milkshakes.

Jonghyun: Coming. 

That evening continues as we both enjoyed it. It was unforgettable. Drinking milkshakes, eating ramyeon, and watching movies. We danced and sang together. The next morning Jonghyun had Cooked pancakes for me.

Su-Ha: Thank you Jonghyun. *hugs him*

Jonghyun: Look at your hair! Such a mess! *brushing my hair back using his fingers*

Su-Ha: Don't you have work today?

Jonghyun: No. I took a leave today.

Su-Ha: Me too! Wanna hang out with me today?

Jonghyun: Nope. You enjoy. My head hurts from yesterday crying.

Su-Ha: Then take care. Stay at home and don't go anywhere.

Jonghyun: Ok.

I changed my dress and went out. I went to a lot of places. As I looked at my watch it was 5:00 PM. I had to go back home. While I was going back to the house, I just passed through a cake shop. Suddenly I stopped and thought to buy a cake because he wanted one yesterday. I go into the shop and asked the worker.

Su-Ha: Could I get a 1kg chocolate cake, please?

Worker: Sure. here you go. Thank you for buying at cake house.

Su-Ha: Thank you.

I was carrying his favorite cake and going back to our house. I reached and opened the door when I saw smoke coming out of the house. I rushed in and narrowed my eyes to find Jonghyun. The sight I saw......no body would ever expect to see it. Jonghyun was lying on the floor unconscious. The cake in my hand dropped. I first switched off the stove and I went to him placed his head on my lap as I was trying to wake him up

"Jonghyun" I continued repeating while patting his cheek.

Jonghyun: I'm Sorry......*eyes closed*

Su-Ha: Jonghyun wake up! Wake up! I-I-I don't know w-wh-at to d-do! 9111  

I grab my phone and tried to dial 911. My hands were shaking. I called 911.

Su-Ha: Hello? My brother is unconscious. He inhaled some smoke and isn't waking up.

911 operator: Ok please tell me your location. I'll send an ambulance right away.

Su-Ha: *the address*.

After a few minutes, the ambulance arrived and we went to the hospital. I informed So-Dam unnie and the members. They arrived at the hospital while I was still in shock in that state. So-Dam arrived along with the members and approached me.

So-Dam: Su-Ha, how's Jonghyun?

Su-Ha: *didn't respond*

So-Dam: *shakes me lightly* Su-Ha.

Su-Ha: Idk the doctor didn't come out yet.

After a few minutes, the doctor came out of the ER. We all approached him with our hands in our hearts. But the doctor said what he had to say.

Doctor: I'm sorry. We couldn't save him. He received emergency CPR treatment, however, he failed to regain consciousness and we had pronounced him dead at around 6:32 PM. 

I almost fall onto the floor because of the statement the doctor told me, but Tae-min caught me on time. All of them started crying silently. I really didn't know how to react. Tears rolled down my soft skin.

Su-Ha: Jonghyun...Jonghyun...Jonghyun...JONGHYUN! *scream**crying*

So-Dam approached me and took me into her embrace and rubbed my back trying to comfort me. All of the members and my sister knew how close we both were. Soon we went back home and informed my parents. They broke down. My sister then saw her phone and noticed Jonghyun's messages.

On the funeral day, I didn't want to come. The investigators found a Pendrive on the scene. As I kept it into the computer and opened it. I saw a video.

*The video*

Jonghyun: Hi Su-Ha, noona, mom and Dad. If you are seeing this video, that means I already died. I know all of you miss me so much but I couldn't stop myself. I was broken from inside. The depression that had been slowly eating me up finally devoured me and I couldn't defeat it. That's why I'm doing this. I'm sorry I'll miss you all. Bye!

I kept watching the video again and again. To my surprise, I had not cried. Not a single drop of tear came out of my eye. Suddenly I got angry and smashed the computer against the wall.

So-Dam and my parents came running to my room. 

So-Dam: Su-Ha What happened? 

She asked me with concern.

Su-Ha: If he was struggling so much he should have opened up with us! 

I sit down on the bed while grabbing my hair. So-Dam came beside me and consoled me. Even she was amazed to see me not crying. Then after a few days, we went to the doctor to find out I got into depression. I was in a condition where I won't be able to cry. I show my sadness and fear in the form of anger, which just happened a few days ago.

Again after a few days later, I had to go to the SM building. There was a decision to make. But I didn't really know the reason why.

 Why?