Shrek: baby gorl
Ed: zaddy i missed u
Shrek: You live in my head rent free.
Smut warning
*NARRATOR'S POV*
.
Ed and shrek were getting it on and shrek would speed up rapidly making ed moan louder then Ariana grande singing a whistle note. Speaking of whistle note, ed was practicing a whistle note while playing the piano. He went outside to play rugby but he saw his father once again. Ed glared at his father. His father went up to ed and went "what a disappointment you are". His father would slap ed violently until.. shrek walked outside. Shrek went up to Ed's father and smacked the shit out of him. His father had a red mark on his face. Ed and shrek would laugh for hours. Shrek and ed went into their 2003 Gold ford explorer and drove off. They went to go get dinner... until they saw that bitch peppa. Peppa was all joyous and went up to shrek and gave him a big ole fat bear hug. I was P I S S E D. I took shreks hand and told him to come on. We got dinner and went home to my mom smoking a cigarette on the front porch, my dad was nowhere to be seen. Not even his 2006 grey honda civic was there. Shrek and ed were confused when they didn't see his car. They went up the stairs to see Ed's mom wearing pink lingerie with stockings on. Ed would look away. He knew his mom was a prostitute. Ed and shrek would watch a movie until shrek heard a buzz on his phone.
Shrek: who could that be?
*he looks at his phone*
Oh shit....
ED!!! ED!!!
shrek would yell
ED WHERE ARE YOU!!!
*ed walks down the steps fast*
Ed: yea shrek???
Shrek: LOOK AT THE PHONE
ed: HOLY SHIT-
what could be on the phone?
