General Lee's Revenge--Family Feud

Chapter One: When the Soldiers are Gone

(So sorry about the long wait, I know, that must've sucked. I hope you enjoy the first chapter of Family Feud; I know it's terrible and I promise you there will be more shortly.)

They all stood to attention to see Trigger off, though he wasn't going far. He'd been with them through the better half of the season, stayed when General lost in Hatchapee, and celebrated with them when he'd won in Sweetwater. Now, a week before the big finish in Rapahoe, Trigger was leaving them. Texas, he'd said, was beautiful that time of year. He longed to see his old friends again. They didn't get snow in Texas, they got ice... black ice. Who would want to spend the winter there, much less drive around in it.

So, as they sat in the pouring rain, watching Trigger's taillights fade away, General glanced at the remainder of his army. Rig was away, waiting for them in Rapahoe. Thunder was next to Maudine the mule. Christine waded in the mud on the other side of the driveway. General knew they may very well never see the others again. Stripes no longer had any reason to stay, seeing as he was the first to leave. Herbie was leaving the country, unfortunately. They didn't know when or if he'd be back. Trigger promised to return to them after the holiday season ended, but they all knew the long, red Cadillac waiting for him back home was probably better than anything General Lee's Army had to offer.

Thunder's gaze switched between General and Christine as Maudine gnawed on his left rear-view mirror. Christine pulled herself out of the mud, driving to the barn for cover. As she drove past, she rumbled over the roar of the storm.

"How much more of this do we have?" she asked Thunder.

"I sense the storm will prevail through the night and into tomorrow mornin'. It was a good idea to help with the harvestin' when we had the chance. The Dukes and the other farmers' fields woulda been swamped in this."

General turned to look at them wistfully, deep in thought. If Thunder hadn't sensed the storm coming and convinced the rest of them to help bring in that year's harvest, there would've been trouble. If Thunder hadn't steered that thunderstorm away from Mr. Thompson's farm before he could fix the roof of his barn last week, there would've been trouble. There would be trouble if Thunder wasn't around. He was becoming a luxury. People were beginning to wonder how they ever got by without him.

"Thunder?" General ventured quietly.

"Yes?" Thunder replied, snapping to attention.

"Are you plannin' on leavin' too?"

"That depends. Do you want me to leave?"

"What do you want?"

Thunder paused for a moment, obviously unsure of what to say. "I... I want..." Thunder sighed. "I wanna stay here."

General gestured approvingly and watched Thunder back into the barn where it was warm and dry. Soon, General followed, settling down into a stall. He watched Christine growl at the pigs who were trying to climb on top of her, scratching up her paint with their trotters. She muttered something about bacon and sausage links.

Chickens perched on top of the stall walls, the goat lay curled up in a ball in a corner. Maudine and the cow fell asleep leaning against Thunder. General flinched as an adolescent raccoon jumped onto his roof. Christine played her radio softly, trying to lull her hams and porks to sleep. The cow seemingly hummed softly in her sleep.

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General woke with a start to the sound of crashing thunder. He looked out into the darkness of the barn. All was quiet. Thunder snored away and Christine's radio was silent. Suddenly, there was an odd noise from outside. It sounded like a fax machine dialing up, then short-circuiting immediately after. He heard a voice curse softly before hearing the noise again. The voice wasn't quite human. It sounded robotic almost, or like a radio.